MO MONEY, MO PROBLEMS....

Considering that I neeeeeeeeeeeeever have cash on me and that my wallet is mostly full with old business cards and receipts from Target from 1996, I have NO idea how Baby-Ko learned to say "money." Look, I'm not bragging (again), I'm just sayin': where did he learn this???? Seriously! $1.85 Starbucks?  Debit card! $2.00 Parking Station? Debit card! I mean, it's ridiculous.  

The point is though, that Baby-Ko's recent obsession with asking for "Money, mommy!" (which means taking my entire wallet apart) has brought something to my attention: I am a receipt hoarder. I really have no idea why I'm holding on to a receipt from Nordstrom for boots I bought 2 seasons ago and have FULLY worn in.... Or why I have the receipt for a yoga series I took ... When I was pregnant. Like, you can't return that shit. So why do I have them? There must be a reason I keep them... Maybe like a "What if" thing? Like what if the Diapers I bought at Target aren't reaaaaaaaaaaally that leak proof.... Or what if the sandwich I bought at Whole Foods (and ate) reaaaaaaaaally doesn't agree with me.... ten weeks later?  I mean, maybe keeping them is for security?

Bottom line, I do need to toss my receipts and come up with a better system. Then again, if keeping my wallet stuffed to the max with crap keeps Baby-Ko entertained as I cook dinner, make a few phone calls and find that receipt to that blouse that I should have never really bought, then having "money" problems may actually be a good thing....

PRIDE

Not sure how, when, or where Baby-Ko learned to say "Booger" but I'm thoroughly impressed and delighted. He's come down with a little cold and when I wipe his nose, he begs, "no more boogers!" I mean... What?! How does he know that? I'm certain Elmo and his freaky side kick Mr. Noodle don't talk about the letter "B" and say "B is for baseball, bears, BOOGERS!  We like Boogers!".... And I know that Rachel and her hard-of-hearing friends aren't showing kiddos at home the sign (language) for snot or boogies.  Thus, it's safe to assume that Nanny Oof-Oof is probably responsible.  I'm not mad - It's better than the poop shame game that had me worried. Whether it's noises for smelly poop, names for all things nose and snot,  Mary "Bee Bee" Poppins is teaching him things, and I appreciate that. 

You know what else I appreciate? The fact that it's Game 1 of the playoffs and Baby-Ko is able to show some Laker love. When you ask him, "Baby-Ko, who's your favorite Laker?" he answers, "Kobe." Brill. (It doesn't always come out sounding like "Ko-Bee" but I know he knows the difference and means #24 and not "Duvie" our beloved cleaning lady).  He also can tell you who is favorite Dodger is: "Manny." (As if there was ever a reason to be concerned about his love of bracelets and makeup. This kid is a sports junkie.)

Bottom line, my son's blossoming vocabulary and discovery of the world continues to excite and amaze me-- no matter how it comes out or how it sounds.....  I'm just a new(ish) mommy filled with a ridiculous amount of pride. So I apologize for my blatant bragging.... Back to wiping boogies, changing dirty diapers, and rooting for my boys in Yellow and Purple, and of course Kooobee.....

POOP BY ASSOCIATION

Disclaimer:  This is my blog and I'll talk poop if I want to.

POOP SHAME: THE FINAL CHAPTER

As I've mentioned over the past couple of weeks or so, Baby-Ko's vocabulary is really taking off. He's repeating nearly everything, including the words that he shouldn't (I dropped a carton of milk and cursed, to which he followed promptly with "Oh, Tuck!) I know that an 18 month old with a truck driver mouth isn't something to brag about, but I must say, hearing him string two words together, (even an "oh"), was awesome.

And of course, given the fact that Bee-Bee's made it known that poo-poo is Oof, it should come as no surprise that now when I go to the bathroom (and Baby-Ko is in there with me), no matter what it is I'm doing/going, he points to the potty and says "oof."  At first, I was mildly offended as I wasn't even going #2 and I can promise there was nothing "Oof" about any of it. But then I realized it's actually quite intelligent- he ASSOCIATES bathroom (the potty), with "oof."  In my opinion, this is brilliant! In fact, the other day, when we were at Costco, as I put the seven-thousand-roll-case of toilet paper in to our cart, Baby-Ko pointed to the wipe-your-ass-for-years supply of TP and said "Oof! Oof!"  Yes! Toilet Paper = OOF! GENIUS.

The point is, I'm not so worried that all the Oofing is going to stop Baby-Ko from pooping or enjoying the potty. I think eventually, he'll have no choice right? When he's 16 years old, it will be funny to be Oof and (if he's anything like the boys I know), he'll even want to get his friends in on the Ooofing. 

So at this point, I'm going to try to put my worry about poop shame to rest -- especially since he's communicating and using his words to tell me what he wants and needs so well. In fact, just the other day, as I was changing his diaper, he strung together his first three word sentence: 

 "I go Poo-Poo."

Now that was Ooof. So very oofing sweet....

LAST CHANCE HARVEY

Well, it's happened. "Sesame Street" has officially become a part of our morning routine. We've got a slew of them stored on DVR  and I've noticed that there are some episodes that Baby-Ko responds to more than others. Certainly, he goes nuts when it's time for Elmo's World and that freak Mister Noodle. (Speaking of freak, can I just say that Maria looks old. Doesn't she look old??? Remember when she and Luis were so young?! Crazy). 

Anyway, I love the segments with the celebs from Molly Shannon doing a thing about bugs, to David Beckham as he bounces a soccer ball and talks about the importance of "persistence", to Dianna Krall, sultry as ever, singing the "Everybody" song with 20 muppets....

However, there's one celeb shtick that for whatever reason, Baby-Ko hates.  I mean PROTESTS. It's a song/dance with Harvey Fierstein called "Everything's Coming up Noses" (go figure). Seriously, every time this segment comes on, Baby-Ko goes nuts. "Nooo! Nooo!" He even started to cry once. I try not to laugh when he starts to freak out, but I can't help it. Well, I guess Harvey Fierstein is Baby-Ko's first official "Fear."  Some kids are scared of Mimes, Clowns, Snakes, others are scared of over the top Broadway stars.... 

So much for my concern about his obsession with my makeup and bangles....

POOP SHAME PART 2

Last week, I got a Baby Center email update telling me that my "baby" may be ready to start potty training. 

DELETE. 

OOPS.  See, according to the pediatrician (who I pretty much forced in to telling me that Baby-Ko's language skills were advanced for his age, to which I literally did a high school/napoleon dynamite "yeeessss!"), Baby-Ko is in fact ready to start "potty training." He would like to see him fully trained, or at least interested and "engaged" in the toilet and all that it entails by the age of 2... which is in 6 months.... EEK.  That's a lot of stinkin' pressure... literally.

Twenty minutes ago, I just heard Bee-Bee and Baby-Ko playing.

Baby-Ko: "Poo poo!"

Bee Bee: "Okay, you go poo- poo."

Baby-Ko: "No! No, Poo-Poo!"

Bee-Bee: "Oooff?! You go poo-poo, Ooof?!"

Baby-Ko: "No!!!" 

Three minutes later....

Bee-Bee: "Time to change your diaper, baby."

Baby-Ko: "Nooooooooooo!!!" 

They go in to his bedroom...

Bee-Bee (changing his diaper): "Whoooah! Big poopie! Big big poopie!"

Baby-Ko: "Noooo!"

Bee-Bee: "Ooof! Baby-Ko, Ooof!"

Baby-Ko: "No, ooof!"

Bee-Bee: "Yes, Oof. Very very oof. OOF."

I almost went flying in and begged her to stop the Oof-ness but I couldn't. I was frozen. Am I being too paranoid? Am I over thinking this? Two seconds later, he was laughing and they were playing again. But what if this pooping nonsense is really stopping him up- really holding him back-- I want him to be free. Free to poop. Free to smell. Free to be!  

THOUGHTS? DO I SAY SOMETHING? OR SHOULD I EVEN GIVE A SH*T????? :-)