WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: WRONG. JUST WRONG.

Who knew an inflated pumpkin could look so... um, inflated.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

Goodbye, Halloween!

A GIRL WALKS INTO A FARM...

This past weekend, we took a little trip with a bunch of friends also with kiddies to Underwood Family Farms. In Los Angeles, "pumpkin patches" are usually hosted out of a parking lot behind a supermarket, with paparazzi lurking for "Stars, they're just like us" moments. (God forbid the world shouldn't know that Marcia Cross also "picks. out. a. pumpkin.") So when we finally got to Underwood, approx. 50 miles out of town, I have to say I was beyond delighted that this was a far cry from your itty bitty overpriced city pumpkin patch. Nope, this was a full fledged overpriced country farm-- replete with real tractors (oh yes, there was even a tractor parade!), animals (a pig race to be exact), and more corn products to eat than humanly possible. (Not true, actually. If there was a corn dog stand, then my day would have been perfect. But kettle corn and roasted corn on the cob definitely hit the spot for the time being).

Anyway, it was one of the best days I've had in a long time. Jonah was in absolute heaven. Some of the highlights...

Like I said... There were tractors. And there was corn. $10 to the first person who can guess who had corn stuck in their teeth on this tractor....

Jonah walked around saying, "Mommy, why does the farm smell?" Well, the horses, goats, pigs and damp hay from all the rain may have had something to do with it. Or, could have been the massive trough of dried beans that for two tickets, children could sit in and sift through. Apparently beans are a magical fruit...

Our trip to the "country" was the first time we were taking this potty training gig on the road....

Though I appreciate "Farmer Jon" for equipping his Jon with a child seat, I wish the "Junior Jon" that went potty before us, would not have left a poo ball, yes a little poo ball, right on said child seat....

Ever try explaining to a potty training 3 year old with an insatiable curiosity for EVERYTHING that "honey, there's poo on the seat, don't touch anything... it's okay, just go pee pee now... yes... poo... no, don't touch... I don't know why there's poo, I don't know who's poo... please don't touch... I don't know why it doesn't smell... please make pee pee....NOW!" Yah. Good times (and yes, that is my butt hanging out of my jeans. It was the least of my worries during what felt like a hostage standoff with a bomb about to explode. Pressure!)

Finally, we ended the day with another treat... fresh smoothies. Nothing too terribly witty to add here. Just a couple of darling kids with their drinks. It was a great day at the farm-- a fun Halloween/ Fall/ Country experience...

Of course, it might have been nice to leave with an actual pumpkin... DUH.

VOTE FOR ME

It's finally here. Less than 24 hours away from Election Day. I'm so excited for all the campaigning and shit talking to end, and ready for a new leader. As incredible as it's been to witness  how politics have become mainstream and "funny," I'm ready for things to get serious. Sure, it's been fun to see and a great way for candidates to reach the young voters... from the "Don't Vote" video to Sarah Silverman's "The Great Shlep" to Tina Fey's dead on spoof of Sarah Palin....  but enough is enough. It truly is TIME FOR A CHANGE.  

If I were a McCain supporter I would have been completely turned off by his appearance on SNL this weekend. He looks like a friggin' corpse... Like a wax version of the dude from "Weekend at Bernies." Maybe its me, but I really don't see how self deprecation and joking can work to your advantage, just days before the election, when you and the moose loving dumbshit you're running with are behind in the polls? I get that politicians go on these shows to seem more relatable, more "main street." But enough. We're on to you. You're not comedians and you're appearance doesn't make me think "wow, I'm just like you " or buy that you are "just like" the Joe Six Packs and Hockey Moms of America....

Speaking of Hockey Moms, I am certainly no comedian, but boy, did I have fun playing one (playing one...) on Halloween.

And by the way, I think I'd be a better candidate...

BEST COSTUME EVER

Tomorrow is Halloween and T-Ko's 33rd Birthday.  

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Happy Birthday! I'm so glad you're my douche bag...

xoxo

J-Ko