POOP BY ASSOCIATION

Disclaimer:  This is my blog and I'll talk poop if I want to.

POOP SHAME: THE FINAL CHAPTER

As I've mentioned over the past couple of weeks or so, Baby-Ko's vocabulary is really taking off. He's repeating nearly everything, including the words that he shouldn't (I dropped a carton of milk and cursed, to which he followed promptly with "Oh, Tuck!) I know that an 18 month old with a truck driver mouth isn't something to brag about, but I must say, hearing him string two words together, (even an "oh"), was awesome.

And of course, given the fact that Bee-Bee's made it known that poo-poo is Oof, it should come as no surprise that now when I go to the bathroom (and Baby-Ko is in there with me), no matter what it is I'm doing/going, he points to the potty and says "oof."  At first, I was mildly offended as I wasn't even going #2 and I can promise there was nothing "Oof" about any of it. But then I realized it's actually quite intelligent- he ASSOCIATES bathroom (the potty), with "oof."  In my opinion, this is brilliant! In fact, the other day, when we were at Costco, as I put the seven-thousand-roll-case of toilet paper in to our cart, Baby-Ko pointed to the wipe-your-ass-for-years supply of TP and said "Oof! Oof!"  Yes! Toilet Paper = OOF! GENIUS.

The point is, I'm not so worried that all the Oofing is going to stop Baby-Ko from pooping or enjoying the potty. I think eventually, he'll have no choice right? When he's 16 years old, it will be funny to be Oof and (if he's anything like the boys I know), he'll even want to get his friends in on the Ooofing. 

So at this point, I'm going to try to put my worry about poop shame to rest -- especially since he's communicating and using his words to tell me what he wants and needs so well. In fact, just the other day, as I was changing his diaper, he strung together his first three word sentence: 

 "I go Poo-Poo."

Now that was Ooof. So very oofing sweet....

LAST CHANCE HARVEY

Well, it's happened. "Sesame Street" has officially become a part of our morning routine. We've got a slew of them stored on DVR  and I've noticed that there are some episodes that Baby-Ko responds to more than others. Certainly, he goes nuts when it's time for Elmo's World and that freak Mister Noodle. (Speaking of freak, can I just say that Maria looks old. Doesn't she look old??? Remember when she and Luis were so young?! Crazy). 

Anyway, I love the segments with the celebs from Molly Shannon doing a thing about bugs, to David Beckham as he bounces a soccer ball and talks about the importance of "persistence", to Dianna Krall, sultry as ever, singing the "Everybody" song with 20 muppets....

However, there's one celeb shtick that for whatever reason, Baby-Ko hates.  I mean PROTESTS. It's a song/dance with Harvey Fierstein called "Everything's Coming up Noses" (go figure). Seriously, every time this segment comes on, Baby-Ko goes nuts. "Nooo! Nooo!" He even started to cry once. I try not to laugh when he starts to freak out, but I can't help it. Well, I guess Harvey Fierstein is Baby-Ko's first official "Fear."  Some kids are scared of Mimes, Clowns, Snakes, others are scared of over the top Broadway stars.... 

So much for my concern about his obsession with my makeup and bangles....

POOP SHAME PART 2

Last week, I got a Baby Center email update telling me that my "baby" may be ready to start potty training. 

DELETE. 

OOPS.  See, according to the pediatrician (who I pretty much forced in to telling me that Baby-Ko's language skills were advanced for his age, to which I literally did a high school/napoleon dynamite "yeeessss!"), Baby-Ko is in fact ready to start "potty training." He would like to see him fully trained, or at least interested and "engaged" in the toilet and all that it entails by the age of 2... which is in 6 months.... EEK.  That's a lot of stinkin' pressure... literally.

Twenty minutes ago, I just heard Bee-Bee and Baby-Ko playing.

Baby-Ko: "Poo poo!"

Bee Bee: "Okay, you go poo- poo."

Baby-Ko: "No! No, Poo-Poo!"

Bee-Bee: "Oooff?! You go poo-poo, Ooof?!"

Baby-Ko: "No!!!" 

Three minutes later....

Bee-Bee: "Time to change your diaper, baby."

Baby-Ko: "Nooooooooooo!!!" 

They go in to his bedroom...

Bee-Bee (changing his diaper): "Whoooah! Big poopie! Big big poopie!"

Baby-Ko: "Noooo!"

Bee-Bee: "Ooof! Baby-Ko, Ooof!"

Baby-Ko: "No, ooof!"

Bee-Bee: "Yes, Oof. Very very oof. OOF."

I almost went flying in and begged her to stop the Oof-ness but I couldn't. I was frozen. Am I being too paranoid? Am I over thinking this? Two seconds later, he was laughing and they were playing again. But what if this pooping nonsense is really stopping him up- really holding him back-- I want him to be free. Free to poop. Free to smell. Free to be!  

THOUGHTS? DO I SAY SOMETHING? OR SHOULD I EVEN GIVE A SH*T????? :-)

I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING...

This weekend, T-Ko and I took Baby-Ko to the LA Zoo for the first time. Although he may have not fully digested the fact that it's not every day that you stand face to face with a 16 foot giraffe, I do think the sights and sounds delighted him.  Every time we get in the car lately, he says "munt-ee! munt-ee!" (translation: "No More Monkeys on the Bed" song). So when we found ourselves at the Monkey cage you can imagine how excited Baby-Ko was. However, these monkeys were doin' a lot more than just jumping-- they were literally going ape shit, swinging back and forth from the cages and making noises that had everyone in the park gathering to witness....

Alas, I now understand the term "f**k like monkeys...."

J-KO TELLS ALL...

Want to know The Reality of Reality Television? Check out the interview I did with my new favorite website Breezy Mama for the low down on what goes on behind the scenes, the drama, the controversy, and the ins and outs of actually getting cast on one of these nutty shows!

http://breezymama.com/2009/03/27/the-reality-of-reality-television/

POOP SHAME

The other day, our nanny ("Bee-Bee"), proudly exclaimed that Baby-Ko has been mimicking her. She told me that when she went to change his diaper, it was stinky and she said "Ooof," and he copied her and said "oof!" She thought it was hilarious and I guess created a little game and while making a "pee-eww!" face says, "Baby-Ko, do you have poo-poo?" He then says, "Nooo. Ooof!" She  proudly showed me their little poo-poo shtick game and I laughed.  Funny (smart) kid, I thought.  Poo-poo is "ooof."

But the next day, when I saw he was sort of struggling while making poops, I said, "Baby-Ko are you making-" and he, almost defensively, answered, "NO!" 

He seemed to be in pain. "Ooof?" I said, trying to lighten things up. 

"NO," he said sadly and walked away.  Did I shame him???

Suddenly I remembered hearing that you're not supposed to embarrass or call attention to your toddler's poop or smell. "It will make them feel bad and make them not want to go." I have no idea where I heard it, but I can only assume it dates back to one of Wacky's lectures or a play date with a PREPMM (Perfect Read Every Parenting Manual Mommy).  But maybe this time, those nutty broads are right... Maybe "ooof" makes him feel bad. Maybe he likes his poop and wants to go freely.

I told my mom my theory and asked her if she thought I should say something to Bee-Bee -- tell her that I would prefer not to "tease" Baby-Ko about pooping. "I don't want him to have poop shame," I said. "He should poop without any judgement..." As I was saying this ridiculously "West side" mommy thing, I started to laugh right along with my mom.

"Nahh. Don't say anything. He'll be fine. He'll still poop... 'Ooof' or not... He'll go. Believe me," she said.

"He won't feel bad? Ashamed?"

"J-Ko, have you known any man in our family (or in the world?!) to feel shame about pooping?"

POINT TAKEN.

But just out of curiosity and because my OCD is raging tonight, does annnnnnnnnyone think ooofing at his pooping may cause a little poop drama down the road? Or is Wacky's word, once again, a load of crap? Literally...

THE LUCY CLOSET

Growing up, I can remember there being one closet in the house that was an "open at your own risk" type of closet. My mom called it the "Lucy Closet" (I assume there was an episode from "I Love Lucy" where Lucy shoved everything in one closet to clean up and every time it opened, everything fell out... ) Well that was like our closet....

Without a doubt, my office/guest bedroom has become a Lucy Closet of sorts-- Every misfit item that needs a permanent home seems to end up in there. I've got containers of Baby-Ko's old clothes, toys, files, gifts, chatchkes, you name it... It's just a throw it in there kind of a room. Just thinking about how badly I want to organize everything which translates in to how badly the garage also needs reorganizing gives me anxiety.

But when I saw these photos that T-Ko took of Baby-Ko using the clutter as his very own bench and window, my love of all things p-touch and compartments melted away... 

Or at least until he started playing with our tax returns...