SCAR! or SCAR?

A couple weeks ago, a coworker of mine wrote a post about how she may have traumatized her son when she unintentionally changed a tampon in front of her 5 year old son. One reader told her she was "inappropriate...." another said  "Gross!.... another said "C'est La Vie...."  I personally lean to the "C'est La Vie" side, especially tonight....

As soon as I got home from work,  I threw off my high heeled boots, got down on the floor and started playing with Baby-Ko. A few minutes in to our castle building session, I had to go to the bathroom. Baby-Ko followed me in to the bathroom and attempted to say "potty" (genius) as I sat down on it. Brilliant. As I started to go, I realized that this trip wouldn't be as quick as I had intended. Something came up (This totally happens to other people right? Because my husband and I have a conversation all the time about how he doesn't understand how women, or me really, can just start gong to the bathroom and all of a sudden realize they have to go #2). 

Anyway, as I was sitting there Baby-Ko lost interest in playing with my bracelets on the floor and started to lean over the tub. "Nooooo! Danger!" I screamed. He laughed and leaned over again. "No, baby! No! Danger!" (Btw, remember when I was a SAHM and used to take Wacky's Class and I tried to never say "no"? Ha. Those were the days).  Totally ignoring/testing me, Baby-Ko started to push himself up OVER the side of the tub. I stood up (yes, I stood up). "NO, Baby-Ko! STOP!"  With my pants down, my toddler diving in to the tub head first,  I went into do or die, fight or flight, scar or SCAR mode fast. Without even thinking I yanked open the cabinet, grabbed a box of tampons and held it up. He looked at me (I had his attention). "Look," I said, dumping the tampons out of the box, "Please help mommy put these back in the box." Done. Baby-Ko was now off the edge of the tub and by my feet playing with my tampons. 

One by one Baby-Ko examined the wrapped tampon and put it back in the box. Once he got them all in the box, he dumped them out and started all over again. (Genius). Staring at him, I didn't feel guilty. In fact, I felt accomplished. I felt like a real mom. A mom who had a total "do what you got to do" parent moment. But it occurred to me as I finished up my biz, that there might be some people that find my total parent moment, totally "gross" and totally "inappropriate." 

Personally, I think I have to seize these "do whatcha gotta do" moments as much as I can now before what I "gotta do" actually screws up my kid.   So tell me, is there an age cut off  where you have to stop winging it and parenting by the seat of your pants? That sounds like it takes an awful lot of planning!

SHE'S BAAAAAAAAACK....

The Oscars. My favorite day/night/event of the year. I want to watch it all: the pre-pre-countdown to the red carpet countdown to the "live from the red carpet"to the main event to Bawbwa making someone cry... 

Well, last year, there was no Oscar shmaltz. There was no glitz... there was no glamour... there was no gasping over her dress or his speech...  There was no honing in on every word during the best sound editing acceptance speech. There was certainly no chips, dip or champagne flowing... 

Last year, my (then) 5 month old was horribly sick with the flu and my husband and I were equally sick. IT SUCKED.

This year, THANK G-D, everyone was healthy and mommy got her groove back. We had friends over, alcohol, food galore... The menu was actually based on the region of the film; for "The Reader" I did grilled Sausages with brown mustard & saurkraut... for "Slumdog $" I did grilled Chicken Curry, vegetable samosas, nan bread... and more... 

Even though "they" said this year the Oscars would be toned down due to the recession, the celebs still sparkled and dazzled on the red carpet. There were definitely a few misses, but here's who stood out for me:
-Angelina Jolie: Her hair was perfection and those earrings and ring were to die for. The Color! OMG, GORGE!
-Natalie Portman: Loved the color of her dress, BUT hated the beading... And she looked a little too sprayed.
-Jennifer Aniston: Did NOT like her hair - a little too "undone" for the Oscars. BUT loved the dress and loved that she was there with John Mayer!
-Marisa Tomei: Perfect from head to toe!
-Tina Fey: She looked hot! And seriously, could she be any damn funnier?!

My biggest disappointment: My girl crush Kate Winslet. HATED her hair.

WHO DID YOU LOVE?

LET'S DO COFFEE!

Need a little pick me up? A quick fix? A cup o' joe? Then you've come to the right place.

We are running a contest at momlogic.com and I have been chosen as one of the bloggers to kick off the Mom Logic Community Coffee Club.

Every day for a month, you'll have the chance to WIN a Keurig Single-Cup Coffee Maker, just for leaving COMMENTS in a couple places... It's so easy, there's almost no caffeine necessary!

Okay, so here's what you do:

FIRST, leave a comment on my MLC Coffee Club Featured post called "Sandy Koufax Kind of Sex." I wrote it last April when my son was about 7 months old. Whether or not you're a Dodgers fan, or even into sports at all, if you are a busy parent then I'm positive you have had this kind of sex!

NEXT, you'll need to leave another comment on my profile page in the momlogic community, and voila, YOU just might be the winner!

Okay, enough of the talk. Let's do coffee!

TIME IN A BOTTLE

I've always thought it was strange when people talk about babies and children by saying  "oh, it's such a great age..." or "that was the best age..." It makes me sad-- as if Baby-Ko turning 24 one day won't be as special as him turning 2.

But after I saw these photos that T-Ko took over the weekend, I kind of understood that "aww, enjoy this right now" thing that people do.  I get it...  Seeing these DOES make me want to stop and relish in every second of every minute RIGHT NOW.  

I probably won't be able to carry him when he's 24, but I can still explore the world and spend hours looking at turtles with him, can't I?

BURGERS AND LOVE

After spending stupid money on a pre-fixed shitty steak and service dinner many many moons ago, T-Ko and I decided (like everyone else), that V-day was for amateurs.  We figured why not share our love over something we both really enjoyed and do it comfortably and casually... So for the last few years, V-Day has been all about Burgers and Beer. It's been great. 

Well this year, we decided we'd kick it up a notch and still get our burgers, but decided to "zjuszh" it up a bit and go for massages AND a movie. We had gift certificates to Burke Williams and a babysitter so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to make a "date" of it... 

Some random thoughts and things I had throughout the evening that I have to share...

• Before the massage, in the women's spa area, I noticed something almost instantly: women. Duh. No seriously, women, in pairs. All doing a "girls night/fuck valentine's day" thing. Good for them I thought... I suppose I'd do the same thing....
• In the steam room, I fell asleep and dreamt I was Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big was going to have a pair of red Louboutins waiting for me when my massage was over. (Burgers are fine too though).
• My masseuse looked like Chris Farley with a ponytail but he gave me one of the best massages of my life... If you don't count the explosions I heard for 25 minutes coming from the movie theater above the room. (Needless to say, massage was totally comped. Explode away, suckers!).
• I ate a 1/2 pound burger with grilled onions, mushrooms, and cheese on Valentine's Day. I felt like Mr. Big.
• We, okay, I decided that we should see "Confessions of a Shopaholic." The theater was, again, FULL of chicks. It occurred to me though that while I appreciate these women being out on V-Day, the fact that they are out in droves makes their singledom soooo obvious. The "i'm not staying home with my cats and a box of chocolates - hear me roar" attitude is loud and clear.  It's like the valentine's version of the Scarlett letter. Seriously. On the other hand, you've got the men in the audience, who like my husband, are only there because their wives dragged them (and "Kicked them in the nuts," according to T-KO) and are fulfilling the V-Day stereotype on the opposite end...  and I couldn't help but wonder which cliche was worse...  Well, according to T-Ko, our cliche is way worse. Especially since his masseuse looked like Chris Farley's sister....

What did you do for Valentine's Day?  Which side of the Cliche Coin were YOU on?

I'M A CHILD

By now you've probably heard about the fact that Salma Hayek breastfed a starving baby in Sierra Leone. Hayak, who is still nursing her one-year-old daughter, says she isn't the first in her family to offer her breast milk to a starving child-- her great-grandmother did the same exact thing years ago in Mexico.

As much as I complained and hated every second of nursing, (with the exception of the fact that I burned calories faster than Michael Phelps), I think I would do the exact same thing. It was a beautiful and selfless act.

But can I just be a 12 year old boy for one second and state the obvious: Salma Hayak has the biggest most voluptuous (natural) boobs of anyone I've ever seen. She probably has enough milk to feed the entire village and the entire cast of "30 Rock."

Thank you. I will go back to being an adult now.

ENQUIRING MINDS....

As most of you know, I'm a writer/producer for Momlogic.com. Recently, I've become a lot more active in our ML Community which is social networking site much like Facebook. We're working really hard to create more activity and increase our membership, and in doing so, I've connected with some other mom bloggers. A lot of bloggers "interview" one another and Laura from metrogirl.typepad.com sent me some terrific questions:

1) If you didn't have to work (didn't need the income) what would you being doing all day and why?

Okay, this may sound obnoxious but if I didn't "have" to work, it's safe to say that I would be able to afford full time help, right? Because, if so, I would be home with my son all day, BUT have the luxury to write as much as I needed and wanted to... I'd finish my novel (see #2) and other screenplays I've started or developed.  I've often thought about going back to school for my Masters....   First and foremost though, I'd organize my effing garage because it's literally a disaster and I get anxiety thinking about it. 

2) What is your novel about (currently up to 15 pages, I think...?) When do you think you'll finish it?

I actually have written close to 30 pages (I don't know why I wrote 15) and like I said in my random fact list, I think about finishing it every day. I really have no idea when I will finish it. I started it when I was a couple months pregnant by taking a UCLA workshop- it was a great motivator. If I can come up for air this year, I'd love to maybe take another series to write some more. Having deadlines definitely helps. Anyway, my novel is total chick-lit and totally based on a real life experience; A couple years ago, my husband and I went on a 10 day Panama Canal Cruise with my mom, grandma, aunt AND his parents. It was fun and certainly stirred up a lot of thoughts...  So my novel is about a young married couple who are contemplating whether or not they should try to get pregnant after spending nearly two weeks on a boat with their crazy family. 

3) How many kiddos do you want and do you only want biological children?

I would love to have 2 maybe even 3 kids and I am completely open to the idea of adoption. For right now though, I have to say, I'm sort of in a "holding pattern" conception wise. I'm enjoying my son and only my son right now and can't really imagine sharing that love. Talk to me in a year though, I might be singing a different tune...

4) Seriously, what's up with the birds? Did one dive bomb you once? ;-) P.S. it cracks me up.

I know. My bird thing is crazy and trust me I wish it wasn't so real. My husband teases me and says that maybe I was "diddled by a bird." Ha ha.  I do remember one time coming home from school one time though and there being a dead bird on the welcome mat and I froze in fear. I was so petrified and disgusted I couldn't even climb over the bird to get inside the door. There was no such things as cell phones then but I do remember walking back to school, using the pay phone and calling my mom to tell her she had to come home from work to let me in the house, and move the dead bird. 

5) Name 5 -10 (but at least five) things you LOVE about yourself either physical or personality traits.

Okay well...

1. I am really good at accents and impersonations. I do a great Persian accent. Seriously. 
   
2. I love my nose.
3. I love that I probably could go days without a shower and still not have B.O. (is that a physical trait?)
4. I do love my sense of humor-- I'm often told how funny I am and it's a compliment I cherish each and every time.
5. I am really good at dissecting a problem and fixing it... maybe this is a bad thing.
6. I love my ankles.
7. I love that I'm handy and willing to get down and dirty. As long as it doesn't involve birds.

Want me to interview you? Simply leave a comment with your name, email and blog and I'll send you my questions! Thanks, Laura! This was fun!

MOMS.... THEY'RE JUST LIKE CELEBS!

This weekend, I went to a charity event where there were quite a few celeb moms and their kids in attendance (I have told you how cool I am, haven't I?) Anyway, maybe its something about being a celebrity that automatically makes everything they do look so effortless, but I couldn't help but feel totally disheveled in their presence -- As they were enjoying the festivities, smiling for photo opps, and whisking around their children from station to station looking totally flawless, I was praying that my bangs didn't frizz and  making sure I didn't slip and fall on the ice (brought in just for the event),  and that no one saw me let Baby-Ko eat the cookie that he dropped on the hay. 

But then it occurred to me... all those "Stars... They're Just Like Us" photos we see in US Weekly, could easily be US! After all, WE go to Starbucks. WE get parking tickets. WE walk. 

Well, recently, I found these photos that I thought looked straight out of the gossip mags....

Moms... They play with their kids outside....

Dads... They push their babies in a stroller...

And who says being a parent can't be glam?

Do you have a "Mamarazzi" photo like these? Click HERE to enter the Mom Logic Community "Moms, They're Just Like Us!" Contest for a chance to win!

25 RANDOM FACTS... AGAIN!

The other day I posted 25 Random Facts after being inundated with tags on Facebook. Ever since then, I've been on a random fact rampage! Random memories of my life flood my brain like stream of consciousness... Well, fortunately for me, I have an outlet to share all this useless information. :-)

1. When my son walks up to me and hugs me "just because," I can kind of understand that "no one will ever be good enough for my son" mentality. 
2. When I was about 9 years old, I became obsessed with the Pioneers (like the ones that travelled out west during the Gold Rush) and convinced my mom that we should do a simulation/dude ranch type trip they offered in a covered wagon...
3. I poisoned my little sister's fish with perfume when i was a teenager, just because.
4. I love putting on makeup and find it relaxing.
5. My husband and I technically met at a bar but it was his friend who came up to talk to me first.
6. My second toe is longer than my big toe which I've heard is a sign of intelligence.
7. In high school, I was the "it" drama girl. My first day at college, the dean got on the mic and said, look around you. There are 400 other "its." Welcome to NYU Tisch School of the Arts for acting...
8. Once I was home with a terrible fever and in a Theraflu/Contact high, saw an infomercial for a CD called "Mob Hits" and had to buy it.  I heard my husband listening to "Volare" in his car the other day..
9. The woman my husband was dating right before me has turned in to one of my closest and dearest friends. 
10. Cars make me sleepy. If I'm not driving, it's very likely I will fall asleep the minute we hit the road. With my mouth open...
11. Right before I was supposed to turn in my Jetta, I had to take it to get repaired so I could turn it in without getting dinged for damages. I got it fixed, spent about 2 grand. Two hours after the assessor came to evaluate the car and sign me off, I got in a terrible accident.  Worst day ever.
12. For about a year in high school, I drove my grandfather's white, 1980 Camaro. It was a f*cking tank.
13. My favorite childhood book was "Eloise."  I loved her imagination and dreamt of one day living at the Plaza too.
14. When I was four I had my mouth washed out with soap because I called my mom's friend a "bitch."
15. My birthday is 9/11.
16. I worked at a seafood restaurant called City Crab when I lived in New York and lied my a** off to customers about which lobster, crab and oyster dish I recommend. I hate all shellfish.
17. In 6th grade, I finally got invited to a the cool girls party and was thrilled when we all sat down to play Spin the Bottle. But when the cool boy spun the bottle and it literally landed on me 2 times in a row he (and his other friends) decided this game "was lame anyway" and left.
18. My husband and I buried our son's foreskin.
19. During the torah portion at my bat mitzvah, one of the 4 boys attending let off a stink bomb.
20. I want to have a career and voice like Nora Ephron.
21. On our wedding night, my husband and I went back to our room for some alone time, then decided it would be way more fun to have our friends come and play. Within minutes, our best friends were in our room partying. It really was the best night.
22. I have been to Paris three times and actually feel like I know my way around the city. 
23. I love betting on the ponies. Especially in Vegas. I one time spent hours in the sports book betting and betting. I was doing so well I walked up to the cashier, confidently threw some money down on "horse #10" and walked away. Turns out I was betting on dogs. My streak was over.
24. I make a mean meatloaf.
25. I want to be good at a lot of things, but there's nothing I want to be better at than being a good mom.

BACKSEAT DRIVER

As we sat in traffic en route to Lucy's 2nd Birthday party, I nearly bit my tongue off trying to stifle my urge to tell T-Ko to change lanes. He has a habit of staying in the right lane forever, and effing EVER, and it makes me insane in the membrane.  Trying to avoid a fight, and trying to challenge myself to my own little game of "who can be quiet the longest," I didn't say anything.  (Okay, well maybe I said one thing. But it was only because he really could have gone faster. It's true that you can actually get a ticket for driving like my grandma. Seriously).  But once we made it to the big indoor play area and got to "partying", "parking lot T-Ko," as he is affectionately referred to in our house, was forgotten. 

Aside from the giant bouncy slide (that made me realize I could use a more supportive bra), the highlight was definitely watching Baby-Ko scoot around in the Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Car.  He looked so cool behind the wheel.  First he stopped, to pick up Lucy....

Such a gentleman.

Then she climbed in (on top of him really) and literally took control of the wheel...

 

Unlike his mommy, Baby-Ko was not a back seat driver and was happy to slowly cruise the play area... Until they announced it was time for pizza. Then he was all about the fast lane...

25 RANDOM FACTS

Everyone has been sending around and tagging each other the 25 Random Fact list on Facebook. I have so many random facts-- it was hard to narrow down. Maybe I'll update soon with some more... In the meantime, here are my random facts....

**

Rules: Once you've been tagged you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

[To do this, go under "notes" under tabs (or the + sign) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click "publish".]

1. I used to have a blankie that had very frayed ends.  I called the longest piece that hung off of it my "shtribble."  I've noticed that Baby-Ko "shtribbles" his blankie too...
2. I love the food at El Coyote no matter what you say.
3. Until I was 4, I had imaginary friends named Bodice and Beem Beem. Then one day Bodice moved to New York to be an actress and Beem Beem went with her...  
4. I love that my husband knows "a little bit about everything." It's hot!
5. When I was in Israel in high school, I became friends with the "bad girls" and we tried to give ourselves tattoos. I still have a little dot on my ankle. That was the summer I became "cool."
5. I hate scary movies.
6. I have been to Malta and I wish I could say I loved it.
7. Hearing Baby-Ko call out "Mommy" from his crib, always makes waking up at 6am bearable.
8. After college I backpacked through Europe and ended up travelling for 10 days by myself; For 3 of those days I was in Amsterdam high and scared out my mind.
9. I love the color green.
10. I was once told I dance like a black man (by a black man).
11. When I lived in New York, I was mugged on the Upper Westside. A couple weeks later, I got called in to do a police lineup- I identified the guy, and ended up going to court to testify against him. It was the scariest thing I've ever done.
12. I have never gotten a speeding ticket.
13. I have never had a cavity, braces or a retainer (though I used to take paper clips and pretend that I had one when I was younger).
14. When I was younger, I used to speak in a British accent and pretend that Barbara Walters was interviewing me. Now I pretend it's Oprah.
15. I love cheese but cannot just take a bite or chunk out of it.
16. I dream of winning an Academy Award -- even if it's Sound Editing.
17. I have written the first 15 pages of a novel and not a day goes by that I don't think about wanting to finish it.
18. I thought that it would be a scene out of "ER," but the the day my son was born turned out to be the calmest and most peaceful day of my life.
19. I hate cats.
20. Poop jokes make me laugh.
21. I could listen to Harry Connick Jr. , Michael Bubble and Steve Tyrell all day long.
22. I used to rollerblade a lot and was convinced if it became a sport at the Olympics, I would qualify.
23. I sleep with my mouth open. Super sexy.
24. I love how much Baby-Ko looks like his daddy.
25. My mom and I have an incredible relationship and I don't tell her enough how much she means to me.