SPRING TRAINING... MINUS THE TRAINING.

Ah, it's March and that means Spring is in the air... Actually, here in Los Angeles, Spring was in the air in December and pretty much all through January...  and I'm pretty sure I spotted Summer one weekend in February.... So forget the air part. It's just March. And that means a lot of things...

For starters, for the past couple of years, every March I seem to make it my mission to cleanse. I want to clean house. To clean body. To clean mind. Without fail though, having just spent the two months prior to March making excuses, mentally, as to why postponing all my "cleansing" resolutions is probably better in the long run, the LONG RUN actually catches up with me and I find myself high tailing it into "time to get your sh*t together" mode come March 1st.

So here we are. And hey, so far, so good.

Here's the current state of affairs:

1. Body

I did actually cleanse. Kind of. 

Thanks to an extremely popular juice company that offers individual juices, or 3 or 5 day kits, I signed up for a 5 day cleanse. By the end of day two though, I must admit, I was beyond ravenous and couldn't stop thinking about hummus. Go figure, hummus, of all things. Not one to talk myself off ledges, I caved in and cut up a cucumber (how bad can a cucumber be), and dipped it (okay, COVERED IT) in hummus. Craving satisfied.... Next day, however, I had to be on set for a project I was working on with Lifetime Moms and realized I had only taken two juices (out of 6) with me for an entire day. One of the models on set suggested I just drink lemon and hot water for the rest of the day and/or see if the caterer could just blend my food... so it would be kind of like juice/fluids. Um.... I'm gonna let you sit with that one and give you the opportunity to imagine how much that did NOT happen and how much I was seen grazing at the craft services table for the rest of the day.

2. Mind

It turns out, "poop talk" can help with literacy.

A month or two ago, I was in sort of a disciplinary standoff situation with Jonah. He was constantly silly, constantly using bathroom language, and even talking back. I had to figure out a way to get back to the consequence basics and figure out what I could take away that was his Kryptonite. (Turns out, not much phases him).

However, one day, I got a report from his teacher that he had been talking back. Apparently, he remarked that what they were going to be doing was "stupid." I died. Read the whole story here. 

Things have calmed down since then and his behavior has shaped up. Not sure if it's my new-found resolve, or a miraculous maturity development for him,  OR the fact that he had been begging to get hot lunches at school and I told him that if I get a week straight of a perfect report, I'd let him get it. So... The good news: We're in the 2nd week of hot lunch land and therefore, mornings are now a breeze for me. The bad news: They serve f**king ice cream. I'm telling myself the organic part makes it better. But I digress...

He was recently given a few books from the Captain Underpants series and when I first read one to him, and he nearly choked laughing so hard, I thought.... Hmm. Maybe not the right book for a kid that has a hard time holding back the fart, poop, pee talk. At dinner. 

But... last night, he begged me to do a mad libs type section of one of the books and I thought of an idea. 1) If he takes this silly talk outside of this dedicated silly talk time, he loses UNO (our favorite family activity), electronics, TV, and all of these books. At the same time. For one week. 2) He needs to sound out the words and try to read to ME.

Turns out POOP is a wonderful word to teach early language development and reading skills. He nailed it.

3.  House

I stopped caring about having an organized closet.  I blame this on the long episodes of Downton Abbey. There's more important things to focus on...

It's hard to believe that exactly 2 years ago, I met Robin Saperstein of High Heel in a Haystack, she helped me with a Wardrobe Overhaul, then sent me on my way with a ton of outfit options (from my own closet!)  Since then, I've updated my wardrobe cautiously and done my best to keep my closet tidy. But hey, life gets busy and Matthew Crowley and Lady Mary get married and the whole thing goes to poop. (See #2). So, it was time to call on my girl and have her come over and remind me why certain jeans should be left in 2011.

In about 3.5 hours, I had a completely new and organized closet, and could see what I was workin' with. (Before and after pic above).  According to Robin, I'm actually all set for Spring ... AND we even shopped my closet and reinvented some clothing. Why say goodbye to my very first and favorite JBrand jeans with the big gaping holes in the knees, which I've already had patched to create a semi distressed look, when I can have them repatched and destressed AGAIN?! Additionally, Robin recommended I take a cute purple dress from JCrew and have the it shortened, and the trim brought up to give it a fresh and current look. Not bad for a total of $36 bucks right? ("Before" pics taken at the Tailor's. Dress pinned. Forgive the "selfies.").

All in all, Spring is off to a good start. I'm heading to Seattle this weekend with P on behalf of the 2 Days in Seattle Campaign (SO excited) and next week, the story featuring that mysterious trip I took in November will be featured in Ladies Home Journal. Did I mention Tina Fey is on the cover? Feeling pretty lucky right now. Forget New Year's resolutions. I love March.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: (ANOTHER) GOOD FORTUNE

.... In bed...?

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: GOOD FORTUNE

Now this is the kind of shower I can find the time for....

MANY THANKS....

... for family. The traditions new and old, the questions that my mom asks repeatedly (still), the goodbyes that take forever (even though we'll see each other tomorrow). It means I have family. It means I have support.

... for my health. The extra stuff around the middle, the puffy eyes in the morning (and at night), the muscle cramps and aches after a hard workout (or bad night of sleep). It means I have health. It means my body works.

... for my home. The loud and unfriendly neighbors, the (always dirty looking) tile that I would not have chosen, the clutter that waxes and wanes, ebbs and flows (depending on how hard a 4 year old cyclone hits). It means I have a home. It means I have a haven.

... for my friends. For my friends, for my sweet, sweet friends. Your words of encouragement, your words of wisdom, your words through decades and disasters. It means everything. It means I have a team.

... for my child. The many questions I cannot answer, the whining and temper tantrums I cannot quell, the energy I cannot handle at certain times. It means I have a child. It means I have given life.

... for my dreams. The many disappointments, the many visions of life and love (past and present), the twinkle in the stars I manage to believe shine for me even when it feels like the world is telling me otherwise. It means I'm a dreamer. It means I have hope.

Today I am grateful for all this and more. Happy Thanksgiving.

THREE. FIVE. NINE. ELEVEN.

Do you ever think back about your life and assess where you are based on some of the stories you could tell?

Certainly, my life experiences must be an indication of all that I've accomplished, all that is good, all that keeps me hopeful... Right? You know, all those "times" that are etched in our memories that define who we are, where we've been and what life still has in store...?

Like the time I was 11 and on a national talk show. As a comedian. Telling jokes about Pee Wee Herman.

Or...The time I experienced a 6.0 earthquake by myself also as an 11 year old....

Or... The time I moved to New York when I was 17 and swore I'd never move back to Los Angeles again.

Or... the time I got married. And divorced.

Or... the time I got mono. And was too sick to blow out candles on my sixteenth birthday.

Or... the time I was mugged in broad daylight.

Or... the time I played my first game of "Spin the Bottle," and when the bottle landed on me 3 times in a row, the boy spinning decided he didn't want to play anymore. And made out with my best friend in the alley instead.

Or... the time I broke my wrist in 2nd grade on the jungle gym because, after counting to 100, this bitch of a girl wouldn't get off. So I hit her. And missed.

Or... the time I became a homeowner.

Or... the time I decided dressing up as Monica Lewinsky on Halloween (post Clinton scandal) was a funny idea.

Or... the time I spent 10 days backpacking through Europe by myself after college.

Or... the time I flew from Chicago to Los Angeles to visit my dad by myself. At age 4.

Or... the time I won a goldfish at a carnival. Then killed it as soon as soon as I got home.

Or... The time I competed to become All Junior Varsity Champ in Track for the 2 mile, and won. Because no one else actually competed in my division.

Or... the time I saw a baby's heart beat on an ultrasound and met Jonah....

On Sunday, September 11th, (Yes, the Sept. 11th), I will be celebrating my 35th birthday. Obviously, the past ten years have made it hard to feel happy about such a horrific and tragic day- a day that families were ripped apart. A date that will haunt all of us that watched our world fall apart forever. But the thing is, on the 11th, September 11th, I will have no choice but to celebrate. I have so very much to be grateful for. I have been blessed with such a full life. So much love. And SO much more to look forward to.

Here's to a new chapter. A new beginning. A safe world, full of life. And a life full of rich stories....

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: TIME WILL TELL

One of my favorite views from one of my favorite cities....

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Leap time....

THE TRUTH ABOUT MOTHERHOOD

Recently, I read an article written by a guy who recounts all the glorious ways in which motherhood "improved" his wife. Aside from the fact that she kind of sounded like a total bee (before babies), he talks about how motherhood has not only softened her but has also domesticated her. She now bakes, crafts, and is totally organized.

Um. I have had the complete opposite experience. As an ACTUAL former type-a, anal retentive, utterly organized, ridiculously crafty and cute person, I've turned into a VIRTUALLY type-a, anal retentive, utterly organized, crafty and cute person. Meaning: It's all in MY HEAD now. Those traits are there. Ready to emerge and shine with the right amount of time, sleep, and funds. If given a magic wand, I'm certain I'd be able to facilitate the former me with a sprinkle of mommy dust.

But alas, I can't. I'm too engaged in a round of "Please stop running with a pen and let me put your pants on... " or "Sure I'm a full time working mom, but yes, sign me up to bring tacos for the teachers luncheon or read books to a class in which my child is not in.... I have alllllllll the time in the world."

In essence, what I'm saying is, most days, I'm not sure I have necessarily improved with motherhood.

(Have you?) My life on the other hand, that's a completely different story. It's better in every way.

Today, my sweet friend Debi of The Truth About Motherhood has asked me to share my 10 Truths About Motherhood for her 2nd anniversary. (Happy Anniversary!). I adore this woman and her blog, and am so very honored she asked me to contribute.

What's your one truth about motherhood? Have you personally "improved" because of it?

WORD-ONLY WEDNESDAY: EYE TWITCH

For three days straight, my LEFT EYE has been twitching. Though my instinct is to spiral into a state of hypochondria and declare the worst, I know better.... for this twitch, this incessant, annoying, want-to-punch-my-own-eye-out feeling is NOT a first for me. In fact, last year, I'm pretty sure I visited an internist, an ENT, an allergist, and an optometrist (oh, and for shits and giggles I suppose I should mention the neurologist too) to rule out "the worst...."

Well, my friends. Thanks to the intra-web, I don't need to visit these doctors again. Every possible reason for this annoying eye twitch has been listed below..... For twenty cents, I'll let you figure out which (every single) one I have... Wink, wink. (With the right eye of course). ;-)

Why Does My Eye Twitch?

Stress: While we're all under stress at times, our bodies react in different ways. Eye twitching can be one sign of stress, especially when it is related to vision problems such as eye strain(see below). Reducing the cause of the stress can help make the twitching stop.

Tiredness: A lack of sleep, whether because of stress or some other reason, can trigger eyelid spasms. Catching up on your sleep can help.

Eyestrain: Vision-related stress can occur if, for instance, you need glasses or a change of glasses. Your eyes may be working too hard, triggering eyelid twitching. Computer eye strain from computer use is also a very common cause of vision-related stress.

If your eyelid twitching is persistent and very annoying (like the problem experienced by my patient's wife), you should have an eye exam, because you may need vision correction. If you spend a lot of time on the computer, you also should consider talking to your eye doctor about special computer eyeglasses.

Caffeine and alcohol: Many experts believe that too much caffeine and/or alcohol can trigger eye twitches. If your caffeine (coffee, tea, soda pop, etc.) and/or alcohol intake has increased, cutting back is worth a try.

Nutritional imbalances: Some reports indicate a lack of certain nutritional substances, such as magnesium, can trigger eyelid spasms. Although these reports lack scientific evidence, I can't rule this out as a possible cause of eyelid twitching. If you suspect a nutritional deficiency may be affecting you, however, I suggest talking this over with your family doctor for expert advice rather than randomly buying over-the-counter nutritional products.

Dry eyes: More than half the older population experiencesdry eyes, due to aging. Dry eyes also are very common for people who use computers, take certain medications (antihistamines, antidepressants, etc.), wear contact lenses and consume caffeine and/or alcohol. If you are tired and under stress, you also may develop dry eye. It's best to see your eye doctor for a dry eye evaluation, because many treatments are now available.

Allergies: People with eye allergies can have itching, swelling and watery eyes. When eyes are rubbed, this releases histamine into the lid tissues and the tears. This is significant, because some evidence indicates that histamine can cause eyelid twitching.

THE SECRET ABOUT THE SECRET

Despite the fact that Oprah swears by it, and the rest of the world drinks the same Kool-aid too, I've never been entirely convinced that there is a "seeeeecreetttttt!" While I'm all for "living my best life," finding the time to motivate and go after what I want is a challenge in and of itself.... Um, which is why I could actually benefit from a self help/ find your inner blah blah blah book altogether....

After sharing a slew of anxieties with a friend, she suggested I read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose." She told me it will take some time to get in to it. That the beginning is "boring." But then, "it gets good" and it all starts to make sense. Well... (a whole) TWO pages and SIX months later, my life's purpose is still sitting on the dining room table...

But make no mistake. It is there .... that big, perfect, life of mine. I mean, it's really there... And it's good! It's happy and shiny and oh, so very well rested. It's skinny but healthy... It's up in the hills in a gorgeous, but perfectly kid friendly house.... by the beach. It's successful... creative and wealthy, and very on my own terms... out of my "home office..." But not sooo successful that I have to give up all that is near and dear and that my kid(s) never get to see me. Oh no, they see me. And it's not just in the morning during Sesame Street and milk... or after work (during Sesame Street and milk). I'm actually there and present, AND I give them macaroni and cheese NOT because of my lack of time (and zest for all things plucked from the farmer's market), BUT because they just want good ol' Kraft (not even the 365 brand).... and frankly, I'm so enlightened that I have come to terms with that and everything else that I cannot control.....

Okay. Fine. Let's not get crazy. I mean even the Dalai Lama knows that some macaronis are better than others. The point is.... my life may "be there", but it's not going to start being unless I go after it.

Welll, shiiiit.

Who needs philosophers and wisdom.

It's called Eat, Pray, Have a Two Year Old.

And if that ain't the secret to "The Secret," then I don't know what is.....

CHEER FOR ME

There are a lot of transitions happening in the world of J-Ko right now... Transitions can be hard. I'm learning to gather strength and encouragement from within and it ain't easy.... Learning to be your own cheerleader is definitely empowering. And at some point, I do plan on talking about these transitions. But for now, I would like to focus on one major transition... okay, well, two...  

The first is that I'm sending Baby-Ko back to day care full time. It's a no-brainer, actually.... choosing day care over a full time nanny. First of all, a full time nanny in LA costs a friggin fortune and second, Baby-Ko is 21 months and definitely is ready for socialization. On top of it, I'm sending him to an in-home day care that has been in business for over 30 yrs, is run by A.R., one of my best friend's mothers AND, I went there myself when I was Baby-Ko's age. Again, no brainer. That all said, we're transitioning him in gradually and given the fact that, well, my boy loooves him some mama, saying good-bye when I drop him off, hasn't been easy. Each day, he's doing better and better, but the initial "no mommy no" when I leave is definitely heart breaking. What gives me hope is how happy all the children are there, and how they all seem to play so well together.... I know he'll be just fine.

In the meantime, I've bought Baby-Ko his very own potty. In fact, the rumor on the (Westside) street is that it's a potty that Wacky endorses. It's the Fisher Price "Cheer For Me Potty" and it apparently makes noise when the pee hits the pot. I'm not quite sure how to formally do the whole potty training thing, but I know that I will for sure not "oof off" during his poops and I won't push it unless he shows some interest. But let me tell you, he definitely shows an interest. In fact, it's his favorite new toy and he even dragged the Sunday newspaper in to the bathroom with him and sat down on the toilet.  (I'm not even making this up. Seriously. It was the best thing I ever witnessed, really). Anyway, little by little I will test out the waters (or urine for that matter) with the whole peeing on the potty thing. Poop is way down the road, but at least Baby-Ko will get positive reinforcement from a singing toilet, and of course a very proud mommy, encouraging him to go... 

Ahh, if only they made toilets to cheer on adults, growing up would be a hell of a lot easier....

25 RANDOM FACTS... AGAIN!

The other day I posted 25 Random Facts after being inundated with tags on Facebook. Ever since then, I've been on a random fact rampage! Random memories of my life flood my brain like stream of consciousness... Well, fortunately for me, I have an outlet to share all this useless information. :-)

1. When my son walks up to me and hugs me "just because," I can kind of understand that "no one will ever be good enough for my son" mentality. 
2. When I was about 9 years old, I became obsessed with the Pioneers (like the ones that travelled out west during the Gold Rush) and convinced my mom that we should do a simulation/dude ranch type trip they offered in a covered wagon...
3. I poisoned my little sister's fish with perfume when i was a teenager, just because.
4. I love putting on makeup and find it relaxing.
5. My husband and I technically met at a bar but it was his friend who came up to talk to me first.
6. My second toe is longer than my big toe which I've heard is a sign of intelligence.
7. In high school, I was the "it" drama girl. My first day at college, the dean got on the mic and said, look around you. There are 400 other "its." Welcome to NYU Tisch School of the Arts for acting...
8. Once I was home with a terrible fever and in a Theraflu/Contact high, saw an infomercial for a CD called "Mob Hits" and had to buy it.  I heard my husband listening to "Volare" in his car the other day..
9. The woman my husband was dating right before me has turned in to one of my closest and dearest friends. 
10. Cars make me sleepy. If I'm not driving, it's very likely I will fall asleep the minute we hit the road. With my mouth open...
11. Right before I was supposed to turn in my Jetta, I had to take it to get repaired so I could turn it in without getting dinged for damages. I got it fixed, spent about 2 grand. Two hours after the assessor came to evaluate the car and sign me off, I got in a terrible accident.  Worst day ever.
12. For about a year in high school, I drove my grandfather's white, 1980 Camaro. It was a f*cking tank.
13. My favorite childhood book was "Eloise."  I loved her imagination and dreamt of one day living at the Plaza too.
14. When I was four I had my mouth washed out with soap because I called my mom's friend a "bitch."
15. My birthday is 9/11.
16. I worked at a seafood restaurant called City Crab when I lived in New York and lied my a** off to customers about which lobster, crab and oyster dish I recommend. I hate all shellfish.
17. In 6th grade, I finally got invited to a the cool girls party and was thrilled when we all sat down to play Spin the Bottle. But when the cool boy spun the bottle and it literally landed on me 2 times in a row he (and his other friends) decided this game "was lame anyway" and left.
18. My husband and I buried our son's foreskin.
19. During the torah portion at my bat mitzvah, one of the 4 boys attending let off a stink bomb.
20. I want to have a career and voice like Nora Ephron.
21. On our wedding night, my husband and I went back to our room for some alone time, then decided it would be way more fun to have our friends come and play. Within minutes, our best friends were in our room partying. It really was the best night.
22. I have been to Paris three times and actually feel like I know my way around the city. 
23. I love betting on the ponies. Especially in Vegas. I one time spent hours in the sports book betting and betting. I was doing so well I walked up to the cashier, confidently threw some money down on "horse #10" and walked away. Turns out I was betting on dogs. My streak was over.
24. I make a mean meatloaf.
25. I want to be good at a lot of things, but there's nothing I want to be better at than being a good mom.