WORD-ONLY WEDNESDAY: EYE TWITCH

For three days straight, my LEFT EYE has been twitching. Though my instinct is to spiral into a state of hypochondria and declare the worst, I know better.... for this twitch, this incessant, annoying, want-to-punch-my-own-eye-out feeling is NOT a first for me. In fact, last year, I'm pretty sure I visited an internist, an ENT, an allergist, and an optometrist (oh, and for shits and giggles I suppose I should mention the neurologist too) to rule out "the worst...."

Well, my friends. Thanks to the intra-web, I don't need to visit these doctors again. Every possible reason for this annoying eye twitch has been listed below..... For twenty cents, I'll let you figure out which (every single) one I have... Wink, wink. (With the right eye of course). ;-)

Why Does My Eye Twitch?

Stress: While we're all under stress at times, our bodies react in different ways. Eye twitching can be one sign of stress, especially when it is related to vision problems such as eye strain(see below). Reducing the cause of the stress can help make the twitching stop.

Tiredness: A lack of sleep, whether because of stress or some other reason, can trigger eyelid spasms. Catching up on your sleep can help.

Eyestrain: Vision-related stress can occur if, for instance, you need glasses or a change of glasses. Your eyes may be working too hard, triggering eyelid twitching. Computer eye strain from computer use is also a very common cause of vision-related stress.

If your eyelid twitching is persistent and very annoying (like the problem experienced by my patient's wife), you should have an eye exam, because you may need vision correction. If you spend a lot of time on the computer, you also should consider talking to your eye doctor about special computer eyeglasses.

Caffeine and alcohol: Many experts believe that too much caffeine and/or alcohol can trigger eye twitches. If your caffeine (coffee, tea, soda pop, etc.) and/or alcohol intake has increased, cutting back is worth a try.

Nutritional imbalances: Some reports indicate a lack of certain nutritional substances, such as magnesium, can trigger eyelid spasms. Although these reports lack scientific evidence, I can't rule this out as a possible cause of eyelid twitching. If you suspect a nutritional deficiency may be affecting you, however, I suggest talking this over with your family doctor for expert advice rather than randomly buying over-the-counter nutritional products.

Dry eyes: More than half the older population experiencesdry eyes, due to aging. Dry eyes also are very common for people who use computers, take certain medications (antihistamines, antidepressants, etc.), wear contact lenses and consume caffeine and/or alcohol. If you are tired and under stress, you also may develop dry eye. It's best to see your eye doctor for a dry eye evaluation, because many treatments are now available.

Allergies: People with eye allergies can have itching, swelling and watery eyes. When eyes are rubbed, this releases histamine into the lid tissues and the tears. This is significant, because some evidence indicates that histamine can cause eyelid twitching.

JUST A SPOONFUL OF GREY'S

Everyone who knows me well, knows that I am kind of a hypochondriac. Aside from the fact that I lost interest after Doug Ross & Dr. Greene left the show, I had to stop watching ER because by the end of the episode, I had every condition they were treating (including the injuries from car crashes). Thank god, these days, my hypochondria seems to be at an all time low. I'm not sure if having a child has "cured" it, or "Grey's Anatomy" isn't really a medical drama, but I am certainly enjoying living without a "disease du jour."

However, I could NOT believe my ears this morning when I heard an interview on The Today Show with a woman named Jennifer Buettner and her husband Dennis. Apparently, after taking care of a niece that was constantly complaining of being sick, Jennifer decided the best way to cure the little girl's hypochondria was to give her "a pill" that would make her feel better and take whatever was ailing her away. SO, after Jennifer gave her a Motrin to pacify the kid, she got to thinkin'... I should create a FAKE pill to make kids feel better when they feel bad, ONLY, it won't be real. We will trick them!!!

That's right, folks. Jennifer and her (shouldn't be wearing a striped shirt on television) husband invented a PLACEBO PILL FOR CHILDREN that parents could give their kids when they have a non life threatening illness and medical attention isn't necessary, and they want to make their kids "feel better."

HOLY SHIT!!! This is wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin!!

1) First of all, as a former/current hypochondriac, I can tell you the last thing I want when I'm "sick" is a pill. Most hypochondriacs I know (okay, just me) are scared of pills. I would never take ONE PILL that would supposedly cure me of a tumor AND kidney stones. I'm not a sucker. Speaking of sucker, let's address issue number 2: LYING TO KIDS.

2) Whether your kid is truly sick or just "sick" (and probably just really needs a hug or attention), why would you ever use medicine as a tactic to TRICK THEM?? With the incidences of accidental overdoses in homes with children so high, why would you ever confuse a child and/or risk them finding out that their medicine is just "candy?"

3) I don't know about you, but giving my baby medicine is always a LAST RESORT. If I have to give him medicine, even Infant Tylenol, it means he is SICK and that the ONLY way he will get better is if he takes the medicine. In an already over prescribed and over medicated society, I think it is so dangerous to encourage children to think that a pill is the answer to everything. Hello, little pill poppers!

4) Finally, have you ever known of a child to ASK for medicine?? Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe, if Julie Andrews flew down and gave him a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down, Baby-Ko could be swayed to swallow his meds without freaking out. But most likely, he will always resist. And I can't blame him.

Look, I know I'm only 8 months in and no expert in the world of all things "Parent," but I am happy to announce that Jennifer and Dennis' placebo pill will not be making it into the J-Ko household.

I'm also happy to announce that I just finished watching the season finale of "Grey's Anatomy" and I'm pretty sure the tingling I have in my stomach is just gas and not 3 tons of quick drying cement slowly crushing all of my vital organs. Now, I can guarantee you, they don't make a pill for that!