OVERSEXED

FIRST, I got an invitation from a friend to DO IT with some of her friends. But, I had to pass because T-Ko wouldn't be able to watch Baby-Ko that afternoon...

THEN, I asked T-Ko if he had any interest in DOING IT with me instead, but he said unless I bought him an X-Box 360 and gave him a BJ, he had no interest.

SOOOO... THEN, I asked Sam if she wanted to DO IT with me. She said "yes!" but she's leaving for a long trip so we'd have to do it AFTER she gets back. I told her I couldn't wait until late June so we made plans to DO it before she left....

THEN, my Mom asked if I could sneak away for a night to go DO IT with her. It may be weird for some, but for me, DOING IT with my mom would actually be fun, so I said SURE and made sure T-Ko could watch the baby...

THEN, some of my friends from Wacky's Class talked about DOING IT and turning it into a girls night out. So we pencilled (touched) it into our iPhones and of course booked our husbands to watch the babies...

THEN, my friend Mc-C called and wanted to know if I was interested in grabbing drinks and DOING IT with her and some friends. We are always trying to get together and never can, so I said, "sure, let me know what night you're thinking...."

THEN, my best friend T called and asked if I would DO IT with her, otherwise she was going to DO IT alone... "You can't DO IT by yourself!" I told her, "We have to DO THIS together!"

***
WELL, I sure hope that being ridiculously OVER COMMITTED doesn't backfire, leaving me without any opportunity for "SEX." I mean, I know that Momnesia is something Carrie can't relate to, but by the looks of the trailer, I have a hunch Charlotte would understand...

MOMNESIA'S A BITCH

I wish I had something wildly entertaining to write about but unfortunately nothing has happened in the past few days that I feel warrant a post.... Plus I think I have a terrible case of "Momnesia." Seriously. Ever since I saw the report that women become forgetful after having a baby on the Today Show, my Momnesia has been in full affect. (Come to think of it though, I do remember their set that day and loving the Jonathan Adler vase behind the couch....)

ANYWAY, at my last Mommy & Me class, the lecture was about introducing table foods to the babies. WACKY made us stand in a circle and repeat this how-to-save-your-baby-from-choking mantra like 16 times. We repeated it after her like school children and then she said "say it again... again, AGAIN...!!!" Being the wise ass that I am, I cracked a smile and I don't think Wacky appreciated it. She had us pretend what to do in case they were choking. She told us she'd come around the circle to each of us to see if we were doing it properly. Maybe she was secretly punishing me for not taking the mantra seriously because when it was time for me to demonstrate with Baby-Ko, she had her assistant check my "Choke hold." With all due respect, I think I'd prefer to get my life saving skills checked off by Wacky herself. Isn't that what I pay top dollar for??? BUT the JOKE is, I CAN'T even remember the fucking mantra for the life of me!!! Seriously, I got in the car after class and racked my brain trying to remember it.

Turn the baby over and hit them.... NO.
Upside down and on the back... NO.
Upside down, boy you turn me... NO.
911... NO.
Call Wacky???... Hmmm. Probably not.

Well, I guess I'll just have to watch Baby-Ko like a hawk when I give him "Yam/ Cheerio Pillows." (Yes, that's my newest creation. He refuses to eat ANYTHING EXCEPT cheerios. So I have to cram pieces of cheese, fruit, yams, etc, on to the cheerio to trick him). Who knows, maybe they'll do another report on the Today Show on how to get your babies to eat AND safe their lives in the process. I just hope I remember what they say instead of the remembering that I've seen Meredith Vieira in that Tory Burch dress before. Apparently Momnesia is selective....