MANNERS MONDAY: RSVP ETIQUETTE!

When it comes to invitations of any kind, I do try to take some consideration when it comes to RSVPing. Ironically, I pulled a big RSVP "no no" just yesterday. Weeks ago, I had responded "Yes" to a 1st birthday party. Apparently, I had also responded "Yes" to plans to go to the Zoo with the entire family. DUH. Today, Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners and I discuss RSVP etiquette... clearly, I need to heed my own advice!

Manners Monday: RSVP! from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's RSVP Tips!

Ø Keep Track of Your Invites. Once you receive an invitation, you should RSVP within 24-48 hours of its receipt. This system helps to diminish any problems that may arise if another invitation for the same date and time arrives in the mail days later.

Ø Split Your Time Sensibly. Although technically you are only obligated to attend the first invitation you receive, you may feel inclined (or obliged) to RSVP to more than one engagement at a given time. If that is the case, the trick is to be respectful and split your time sensibly to ensure you are not offending the invitees who probably wish they had you committed for the "whole enchilada".

Ø Pay Extra Careful Attention to Electronic Invites. This becomes an especially delicate matter on sites such as Evite because you are able to see who opened your invitation, but did not respond. Think twice before publishing your invite list for all to see if you are concerned that some may base their decision on who else is coming.

Ø Make Sure You Have a Good Excuse! If you are unable to RSVP positively to an event, that is perfectly fine, as long as you have a decent and thoughtful excuse. How you deliver your excuse and the words you choose to express yourself can make all the difference.

MANNERS MONDAY: DO YOU HAVE "FOMO"?

Manners Monday: Do You Have FOMO? from lisagache on Vimeo.

According to a recent NY Times article, social media can induce feelings of being alone, left out, a loser... It's called FOMO. Fear of missing out. And personally, every time I see a #hashtag for a fab event (that I haven't been invited to), or a best/funniest/charming blogger of the world list published (that I'm not on), my FOMO sets in. Oh, and don't get me started on the facebook status updates spewing marital bliss or tropical vacations for weeks on end. One word: FOMO! Well, Lisa Gache, my partner in all things manners, and I got to chatting about this syndrome and how it relates to manners...

Do you have FOMO? Are you mindful of what you post so as to protect other's feelings?

Here are Lisa's tips:

Don’t rub it in. If something wonderful happens that you want to share, at least have the decency and sensitivity to announce it in a slightly self-deprecating manner. This might help to make the bitter and jealousy pill (another person might be feeling) easier to swallow.

Keep it short and sweet. Do not write a dissertation. A few simple brief sentences about what is going on will suffice. No one needs to hear every last piece of minutia. Save your most intimate details for those face-to-face conversations with your nearest and dearest.

Word to the wise. On the flipside, if you are constantly consumed with what everyone else is doing, you can’t possibly enjoy your life. Do yourself a favor. Shut off your phones, computers and any other technological devices that connect you to the world and reconnect with the most important person there is, YOU!

Create a new destiny. Rather than letting FOMO control you, your time would be much better spent creating a new and exciting future that makes you happy and that you can control. Make a conscious choice to become interesting, find a passion, start a new hobby, travel, get cultured, the list is limitless.

Give someone a fighting chance. The incessant checking of email, texts, Facebook updates and tweets is enough to drive anyone crazy. These tools only serve to validate the FOMO hysteria. Don’t be a slave to them. Instead be present to your relationships and give those you interact with in person your undivided attention. Trust me, they will thank you for it.

MANNERS MONDAY: LIFE'S EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

We have all sat across the table from a loved one, or worse, a coworker, and squirmed as we watched them merrily go about their meal, unaware of the massive piece of broccoli covering their front tooth. Should you tell them they have something in their teeth?? Would you want someone telling YOU there was green in your grill? The always lovely, (and seldom sloppy) Lisa Gache and I tackled these issues and more in today's episode....

Manners Monday: Life's Embarrassing Moments from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's Manners Tips for Life’s Embarrassing Moments:

Ø Tell them about it. Whether it’s a piece of spinach in the teeth or a toilet seat cover hanging from their pants, people deserve to know. The last thing anyone wants is to discover a shortcoming when they thought they were being fabulous.

Ø It’s all in the delivery. Expressing yourself in the right way is the key. The point is to be discreet and employ the utmost sensitivity when telling the other person about their embarrassing moment.

Ø Laughter is the best medicine. If you are the one experiencing an embarrassing moment, rather than be defensive, find the humor in the situation and move on.

Ø Be secure with yourself. Refrain from constantly checking in with others to receive validation. It can become bothersome to repeatedly ask if you have food in your teeth or bad breath or other similar offenses.

Ø It happens to everyone. The most important thing to remember is that embarrassing moments happen to everyone so always be kind and think about what you would do if the shoe were on the other foot.

MANNERS MONDAY: APPEARANCE!

When one thinks of manners, they don't often think of APPEARANCE as registering on the "rude richter scale." But when you really think about it, it kind of makes sense. Your outward appearance speaks volumes and often sets the tone for how YOU feel about yourself.... And we all know the saying... if you don't feel good about yourself, no one else will.... Well, today my partner Lisa Gache and I explore this subject and talk about why maybe my mom uniform of yoga pants and an American Apparel pullover is sending the wrong message...

Manners Monday Appearance from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's Tips:

Ø Moms, set your alarm so you have enough time to take care of yourself along with your family in the morning.

Ø In addition to laying out your children’s clothing, be prepared and lay out clothing (or makeup) for yourself the night before.

Ø Dress appropriately for the occasion. If you are going to the park, wear clothes that are not restricting and choose flats rather than heels. For a parent/teacher conference, a pair of slacks and a blouse make a nice statement. Dressing for the gym? Finish your look by adding a stylish casual jacket or sweater.

Ø Dedicate a quick minute or two for some careful grooming. Regardless of how rushed you are, wash your face, brush your teeth and hair, put on a bit of face cream, foundation, mascara and blush. You’ll be good to go!

Ø At the very least, maintain your poise and walk with good posture. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and move gracefully, heel toe, heel toe. This exudes confidence and strength.

Ø A smile makes up for everything. Even if you had minimal time to put yourself together, donning a smile endears you to everyone. (Just make sure you brushed those teeth!)

Speaking of appearance, let's get out of our yoga pants and in to something hot this Spring together! Join me at the Lucky Shops LA event on April 8th and 9th! Enter "PERFECT" in the Promo Code for a 10% discount on tickets!

MANNERS MONDAY: CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE

I would say my right hand has tingled, gone numb, and/or ached off and on for the last two years or so. Though I am plagued by hypochondria, this is one ailment I'm certain isn't fatal... Unless of course you start thinking about the radiation that could be permeating into my brain or ears or hand... But I digress...

No. My finger/hand/arm issue/disease is entirely impart to an electronic device/appendage that takes pictures (HD ones, at that), video chats, houses thousands of songs and useless games, and tells me where in Africa I can find a Starbucks.

I live for my iPhone. And my fingers pay for it. As do my friends and family.

It's obnoxious, I realize. I'm on my phone A LOT. But thanks to my dear friend and writing partner Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners, I'm learning how and when to politely use my phone while in public.

Manners Monday Cell Phone Etiquette from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's Cell Phone Etiquette Tips:

Ø Turn your cell phone off. At the very least, place your phone on vibration mode before meeting others so that you may be fully present to your situation.

Ø Communication is key. Communicate in advance if you know you will be receiving an important call. This will put others at ease rather than aggravate them.

Ø Never place your cell phone on the table in plain sight. Simply place your phone in your lap so that you may glance down to view the caller if need be.

Ø If you receive your important call, politely excuse yourself and conduct your conversation in private.

Ø Speak softly so that you do not disturb those around you.

MANNERS MONDAY: ROAD RAGE!

Manners Monday: Road Rage! from lisagache on Vimeo.

Many months ago, I was driving with Jonah and running late (as usual). We pulled up at a stop light and though the light was green, the car in front of me decided to slow down and virtually stop. I laid on my horn and without thinking said, "GO! DOUCHE!" Sure enough, not two seconds later, a little gold fished crusted mouth, as if he were driving himself, blurted "Gooooo. Douuuuuuuuuuuuuuche!"

Oops.

There's no doubt about it. When it comes to setting a good example of manners for Jonah, I have two unfortunate things working for me: I swear like a truck driver, and I drive like a truck driver. The combination of the two makes for some gnarly road rage.

Though I'd like to blame Los Angeles drivers for their poor driving skills and bad manners (um, I'm signaling! Let me IN!), I realize that I need to take it down a notch, especially when little J is in the car with me. Well today Lisa Gache and I decided to talk about how easy it is to let your manners get run over by road rage... especially during carpool drop-off... (Oh, yeah. You know the rude moms I'm talking about. Are you one???)

Want to tame your road rage, Lisa suggests:

Ø Give yourself plenty of time to arrive at your destination

Ø Refrain from cell phone conversations when entering the parking lot so that you can be present to the situation at hand

Ø Don’t sweat the small stuff, if someone’s driving is bothering you, take a breath and count to ten

Ø Lay off the horn and the profanity, especially if children are in the car, you don’t want to set a bad example

Ø Never give someone the “finger.” It is just plain rude!

MANNERS MONDAY: IT'S MORE THAN PLEASE & THANK YOU!

Manners were a big part of my childhood. From no elbows on the table to thank you notes, my mom was a big, big stickler for manners. "Thank you for the birthday gift..." "Thank you for inviting me to your miniature golf party..." "Thank you for coming to my Bat Mitzvah..." You get the gist.

Me & My Grandfather Ralph ("Papa") circa 1987 en route to a Cotillion dance

I believe that now, my behavior, thanks to a 3 1/2 year old sponge with an already saucy vernacular, is crucial. And though I am certainly not the poster child for all things manners and etiquette, my lovely book writing partner Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners is. Lisa and I have teamed up to create a weekly video series discussing all things manners. From cell phone etiquette to road rage to how to tell your friend they have spinach in their teeth, we're going to dish about it all.

We want to:

· Raise the awareness level on manners

· Obliterate the stodgy reputation that manners are only for the wealthy and elite

· Provide endless examples of how manners are an integral part of our daily lives

· Make learning manners accessible, entertaining and fun

Enjoy and look forward to your thoughts!

**Manners Monday: It's More Than Please & Thank You! ** from lisagache on Vimeo.

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When it comes to manners, what matters to you the most? What irks you the most?