MONDAY MONDAY

8:45am. My phone rings. It's DH. I try to sound like I'm not sleeping, but I am. Baby-Ko was UP for the day at 5am and went down for an early morning  nap. Subsequently, mommy went down for a nap then too.  DH tells me that he has some news he thinks I may want to hear.... 

MICHAEL BUBLE IS NOW SINGLE.  

"Seriously?" I say.

"Yes, just heard it. Thought you may get a kick out of that. Sorry I woke you."

"No. That's okay. This is so exciting."

"I figured you could blog about it."

"Oh, I will. And I'll also have to figure out what to do about T-Ko," I joke... Kind of. I mean, Michael Buble IS already on my "list."

In other Hollywood news, T-Ko just told me Jimmy Kimmel and Sara Silverman split. "Apparently she WAS fucking Matt Damon." :-)

****

I started my 30 Day/ 30 Minute plan today. The exercise portion for today was a walk/jog/ run challenge with the stroller...  Jesus Christ, I am out of shape.  My  "jog" and my "run" are not so different from one another these days. I'm pretty sure the people at the park were not able to distinguish the two.  As for the food part of the diet, I had zero pangs of hunger until dinner hit. Tonight's menu was this chicken and whole wheat pasta dish. But before you go thinking "pasta? what kind of a diet allows 'pasta'??" let me make clear how much pasta I was actually able to eat: 1/2 cup. Do you know how much a 1/2 cup is? It's like 10 tubes of penne. Trust me, I counted. And let me tell you, when one of those penne tubes fell on the floor, I nearly cried. Then I picked it up and ate it. (The 5 second rule is SO in effect during diet days).

****

My Nana came and spent the day with us and stayed for dinner. T-Ko, my Mom and Aunt N joined. It's always so nice to spend time with Nana, especially when she seeks love advice.... (As you may recall a few months ago she became friends with a newly widowed man who told her that they were not an "item.") 

Nana:  I think I have scared H away.

Me:  Why?

Nana:  Well, I had him over for some supper last Wednesday and we were talking... He told me that he was very upset- that he had been diagnosed with the first stages of prostate cancer and he was very concerned and wanted to talk about it.

Mom:  That's sad.

Nana: He said that the doctor told him he couldn't have sex anymore... and I said, 'well, at our age who needs to have sex anyway. You can have 'talk sex.'

Me: You mean "Phone sex."

Nana: Well, sure. But not on the phone. Just at the table.

All: At the table?? (Laughter)

Aunt: Is there any affection between you?

Nana: Well, we held hands at the movies. But you see, he is also seeing another woman.

T-Ko: Oooh.

Mom:  YOU are the "other woman."

Nana: I think so. Because then at temple we just waved and didn't talk.

J-Ko: Was this before or after you had him over for dinner. 

Nana: Before. But when he was over for supper I said, it's okay that we're friends but sometimes I need a hug.

All: Oy.

J-Ko: So did he hug you?

Nana: Yes, he gave me a nice hug and then left for the evening. 

Aunt: Has he called?

Nana: No. And that was on Wednesday.

Mom: Well, have you called him?

T-Ko: Someone should really check. Maybe he died.

Laughter.

J-Ko: No, seriously. Maybe your cioppino made him sick. 

Mom: You should call him mom.

J-Ko/T-Ko: No! She should not call him. 

T-Ko: I think if you don't hear from him you should move on...

J-Ko: Sorry, Nana. He's just not that into you.

T-Ko: You should call his other old broad. Get a little Leisure World three-way going. 

All: Ewwwww!

J-Ko: That would definitely kill him. 

***

A TOY FOR T-KO

To: T-KO
From: DH
Sent: June 14, 2008 9:51pm
Subject: J-Ko's Blog
CAN'T WAIT TO READ J-KO'S BLOG ABOUT HOW SHE MESSED UP AND GAVE YOU A FATHER'S DAY GIFT THAT PLANTED YOU ON THE COUCH MESMERIZED BY ANIMATED SUPER HEROES PLAYING X BOX WHILE YOUR BABY SITS STEWING IN A DUMPY DIAPER
***

PROPHETIC.

SO yes, like a total schmuck/ sucker, I bought T-Ko an XBox 360 for father's day. And not just ANY XBox, I bought him the top of the line XBox. (Apparently sales people at Target know how to upsell). He has been talking about this "toy" for months and months AND for months and months I have ignored his pleas (and sometimes threats) about buying it. I feared that I would never get to watch TV again, that I would constantly hear the sounds of gun fire, missiles, and cursing as T-Ko stole money from hookers (yes, a lovely little function of "Grand Theft Auto").

But I ignored my better judgment and decided to surprise him with one for Father's Day. Sure. I could have gotten him a "typical" Father's Day gift... something for the BBQ, a tie, a certificate from Baby-Ko that says "Good For One Day of No Diaper Changing" or something corny like that.... But, I decided to go for the gold and make the guy happy (and think he has the coolest wife ever). I can never actually wait until the actual holiday or birthday to give him a gift, so I gave it to him last night. Needless to say, he was thrilled and within an hour, was back at the store buying more games, and calling his boys to come over and play....

As I sat watching T-Ko and his buddy trying to carjack people (really, "Grand Theft Auto" is special), my life flashed before my eyes. Okay, not really. But I did remember that scene from "Prime" (btw, GREAT under-rated movie) where Raffi tells her friend she's buying her boyfriend nintendo and the friend says, "Raffi, do you like having sex?" And I wondered if even though I've made T-Ko swear that he cannot dominate the TV all day/ night, that he can never ever play with it while Baby-Ko is up and/or in the room, and that it has to go in the credenza and not on top (he claims he will, he has to get the "right" hook up), if he really might choose the game over me.

Well, considering that I just crossed in front of the TV to get water and he nearly had a heart attack (apparently he's trying to save the world in an F16), I have a feeling that yes, he might choose the game over me.... at least while it's still new anyway. In fact, knowing him, he's going to stay up all night playing games. But when Baby-Ko's up at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning, someone's gonna wish they got a "Good For a Day of Sleeping In" certificate instead... Happy Father's Day, sweetheart. :-)