OUT WITH THE OLD...

A couple years ago, a friend sent me the most massive astrology forecast I had ever seen. I had just separated so things were obviously a little tough and life was complicated. Looking and hoping for better luck, I turned to this 4 page horoscope outlining details of what would hopefully become a bright future. Show me the money.

Alas, no dice. It appeared that financially, romantically, and professionally, my life would basically SUCK until sometime in 2011.

Of course, it didn't suck. Always. Just sometimes. 2011 came with a lot of highs and lows. Many wins and losses. Constant pushes and pulls.

And while there's been many successes, small triumphs, and wonderful moments of luck and love, more than not: I'm happy to say goodbye 2011. I'm happy to start anew.

I won't list all my resolutions for 2012, but I will say, in general, this will be the year to BE KINDER. More kind to my family, my friends, my body, my mind. I'm very hard on myself. It's time to lighten up, worry less, be STILL more. Time to get off of your Facebook and on to my fantastic stories. It's time to stop stalking and start taking stock in what's in front of me. It is time to BREATHE.

Before I tip my Forty to the year that put hair on my chest and "didn't kill me, but definitely made me stronger," I'd like to look back on a few of my favorite stories and posts. Boy, did I accrue some kick ass stories. Some of which, sorry, will never see the light of day on this blog. (Gotta save something for my memoirs. Ha). Here are some of my favorites from 2011...

-Getting in a fight with a Grandma at a Park

-Losing our beloved fish (of 2 days) named Nemo

-Lying to my son. A lot.

-Making empty threats to my son. A lot.

-Realizing I don't speak "Boy."

-Fielding incessant questions.

-Getting rid of terrible jeans.

And now... the new!!! I look forward to sharing many more stories and memories in 2012.... Here's to a beautiful and bright, happy and healthy, simple and sacred New Year.

Cheers!!!

HOLIDAY LOOKS

Ho, friggin', ho. 'Tis the season to be jolly... and make fun of holiday sweaters. Whether the lit up mall and long lines for Santa are getting you in the holiday spirit or not, one thing is for certain, this time of year, especially for parents, is pure madness. From holiday parties at schools, to gifts for teachers, to scheduling play dates and plans while school's out, our dance card is full... And that's not including the holiday work parties and family/friend get togethers (where I pray that the egg nog is spiked and the latkes are extra crispy). A few weeks ago, my girl Robin Saperstein of High Heel in a Haystack came over and we played adult dress up. Faaaaaashion! We started talking about the holidays and some of the events and parties I've got (believe me, I'm not that cool)... Robin helped me come up with a few outfit options. Hopefully this will inspire you to think about what you're going to wear... assuming you haven't already committed to a lovely red knit sweater adorned with an embroidered Rudolph and a yule tide log.... If you have that look picked out, please wear it. And invite me to the party. Oh, please.

IT ALL STARTS MONDAY

It all starts Monday.

I don't know what it is about new year's (and diets for that matter too), but no matter the day or date it falls on, my "new year" and the resolutions that I make and vow to keep don't actually go in to effect, in my mind, until MONDAY.

So it's only fitting that I discuss my resolutions TODAY, the THIRD day of the New Year....

I'm sick of saying how challenging 2010 was, so let me share something that really happened to me as an example that really ought to sum up just what a cluster effer of a year this one was: 2 flat tires in 2 days. DONE.

Though I have no idea what karmic luck, or lack thereof, is in store for me in 2011, I can at least try to put my best foot forward and try to make it all go a lot smoother....

Here's what I'm thinking.... Generally speaking, of course, as a laundry list of resolutions will surely bore you and, quite frankly, there would be too much I'd be making up. So I'm keeping it simple with three big areas that need to be tackled:

1) PARENTING: I want to figure it out. I'm not saying that it has to be perfect, but holy shit. I need to get better. From dropping empty threats, to not eating at the table nearly enough, I want to do it better and figure it out. Figure out what my son needs, BUT take control and lead the way so that there is no confusion of who is in charge. I want consistency, routine, and predictability to reign in both of our lives. And I want him/me to sleep more. A lot more.

2) FINANCES: I need to tackle my debt and figure out how to go from making ends meet to feeling like I'm again in control and leading the way. Feel free to send me a check and/or lotto ticket as I figure this one out...

3) BODY, MIND, SOUL: Take care of my body. Eat better. Eat more. Eat less. Workout more. Work less. Think about lovely things. Put the bad things behind me. Read beautiful stories. Write beautiful stories. Travel far. Travel near. Stay home more. Get out more. Let love in. Let some love go. Forgive myself. Forgive others. Trust that it will all work out. Be good. Be kind. Be me.

Happy new year.

THIS YEAR... REALLY.

Every year, every goddamn year, I make A LIST. Sometimes it's just in my head. Other times it's on paper. But every year, the list IS MADE. Every year I resolve to do more, do less, be something. Well, I wish I could say that this year "the list" can suck it and I'm going to spend 2010 being exactly as I am... But alas, I can't... Because if there was any year that needs to be put to rest, tweaked, and given a complete overhaul, it is 2009. Yep. See ya bitches. Here's what I'm doing in 2010:

1) Hitting Less Curbs. I personally think I'm a fine driver. But my OCD about parking too parallel/close to the curb can be damaging and annoying to those driving with me. Also, tires are expensive.

2) Social Media(ish). This year I'm going to Tweet more and Facebook (stalk) less.

3) Stop Shhh-ing. I have a tendency to tell people they're talking too loud. I actually think I have like weird hearing issues (see #4), but in general, I realize my shh-ing habit is annoying. So in 2010, talk as loud as you want people. I won't stop you... For now.

4) Pop Pills. I've spent the majority of my adult life teetering on serious hypochondria. But I've really started to loosen up and trust that in general, for example, mixing Advil and a glass of wine is totally fine (yes, I have doubts about this). But this year, I'm going to stop fixating on silly things and trust that I am a healthy woman...

5) Drink more. Water, that is. I need to drink more water. Period.

6) Exercise. This one is so boring and so unoriginal. But goddamnit, this year I need to exercise and not pretend that pushing Baby-Ko up and down the block on his tricycle counts as cardiovascular activity.

7) Tell more stories. I'm thrilled to be working at Parents Ask and writing for a living. But that's not enough. I need to write at least three times a week on Perfectly Disheveled and AND finish (well, first I need to start) my book proposal. I mean, sitting across from Barbara Walters isn't going to happen magically...

8) Parent better. Today I compiled a list for Parents Ask of all the Best Parenting Books of the decade. This year, I will read (and not just at Barnes and Noble before a movie) some of these books... I might even take all the info that Wacky has bestowed on me and use it. Maybe.

9) That's a Crock of... I got a crock pot for Hannukah and this year, I am determined to use it once a week (okay, once a month is just as admirable). So, if you have great crock pot recipes send them my way... Or send me your unwanted gift cards to various restaurants. Take out is just as appreciated.

10) Shag. Get your mind out of the gutter, people. Recently, I got a fabulous shag rug from CB2 but it sheds like a mo' fo'. Seriously, when I leave the house, it looks like I've been living with a den of polar bears. It's crazy. So this year, I need to de-lint more (and that includes Baby-Ko). Seriously.

Obviously, I could keep going with the list... Do more Laughing, hugging, singing, and dancing... Do less arguing, complaining, procrastinating, and worrying, etc... But I think this is a good (written) start... And a good way to say goodbye to 2009.

Happy New Year.

See you in 2010.

xo

J-Ko

"HAY-NEE"

Two years ago tonight, I was up in wine country with a bunch of friends, staying at a beautiful house along the Russian River, drinking wine, eating delicious meals, and makin' babies. Well... Turns out I actually only made one baby to be specific, but the point is I literally conceived on New Year's eve (or New Year's day.... it was a lucky 24 hours for my husband and I).  Now, we're  back up in wine country, with the same group of friends and a couple of additions to the group -- the scenery is still stunning, the wine is still delicious, and the food is still making me fat (and for sure committing to a diet on Monday).  The only change: babies. Children. Toddlers. Three momma loving, snack loving, Elmo loving kiddies along for the ride. 

Being here with Baby-Ko and his two pals "Addie" and "Addie" (both different names, and different sex actually) definitely makes the moments of wanting to pull my hair out when Baby-Ko is having a meltdown more tolerable. It's certainly not the same trip we take year after year, after all- babies at winery isn't what I would call "relaxing," but it's definitely fun. And chaotic. And sweet. And I'm sure the best form of birth control our single friends with us could ever ask for....

***

Tonight as I put Baby-Ko to sleep, I told him about what an amazing year 2007 was because it was the year he was born and I fell in love. I told him that 2008 was even better because I watched him turn from an infant to a little man right before my eyes and then I really fell in love. I told him that we had so many exciting things in store for him 2009... turning two, a new president, a new doggy (not really, but I said it because it's fun to hear him say "dAH-gee").  I said "Happy New Year" over and over and finally, he said "Hay-nee," which I can only assume is his brilliant rendition of Happy New Year. It was a wonderful way to say 'night-'night.... and go join my friends upstairs for an adult beverage...

This has been one hell of a year and I am so looking forward to an even happier, healthier, and sweeter New Year. Best wishes to all.  

xoxo

J-Ko