IMMA BE... 37

My 35th Birthday

Two years ago from this exact weekend, I decided the best way to celebrate a milestone birthday (my 35th) was to do it with a group of my nearest and dearest girlfriends. Using every last bit of my savings -- or checking-- depending on how you look at it, (I admit, not one of my wisest moves), we spent the weekend at a nearby resort in an oceanside villa, drinking, laughing, eating, sunning, toasting, cheers-ing, walking, talking, drinking and taaaaawlking some more. It was my treat. My joy. My pleasure. My honor to spend a weekend with a group of women (including my mom and aunt) who were privy to all my secrets, all my stories, all my dating ups and my dating downs. To make a birthday wish surrounded by my biggest cheering squad was the best feeling in the world. 

That weekend, a bottle of champagne was sent to our room with a note: 

"Is this what old people drink? Happy Birthday. xo, P"

Drinking said Champagne. #Classy 

My girlfriends and I died. P and I had literally just started dating. Not only was this the sweetest and most thoughtful gesture, but the "old people" part was a very clever reminder about our first exchange and that I am, in fact, older than P. (It's okay, we can laugh about it). 

Two years later, P (who we can now call Peter) will become my husband in March.

It's crazy how life works. It's crazy and lucky. And fast. And not always what we think it's going to be.

In just a few days, I will turn 37. This birthday I've decided the best thing I can give to myself is confidence. Stop the bullshit. Stop the unnecessary brain chatter. And just grow up. Be an adult once and for all. As one of my best friend declared, this birthday beckons an important mission: "Operation Grow a Pair." aka OGAP.

Anyone else familiar with this OGAP? Something tells me that if you are in your 30's, it rings a bell. You want to grow up, feel good, and be better. You want to possess the confidence you hear that you finally get to have when you turn 30. Like this automatic switch that is supposed to go on.... Like the one that went on automatically when I turned 14 and I became a raging boy freak and biaaatch. Or the one that went on when I got to college and became entirely invincible (Example: deciding that smoking Parliaments when I had bronchitis was better than smoking Marlboro Mediums. I have a plethora of examples like these but for sake of time, (Remember? I'm on a mission!) I'll leave it to you to let your imagination picture a young Jenny Brandt careless and free, living in New York, backpacking through Europe, etc, etc.

Yep. I remember her.

And guess what... As you might have experienced yourself, the so-called switch - the OGAP switch- doesn't activate automatically.

Apparently, you can't get samples of confidence like you can with Kiehl's eye cream.

It turns out, not only do you have to earn it, but you have to work at it. You have to dig deep. And you have to get out of your own way. And unfortunately, like any good skin regimen, you're supposed to get started earlier than later.

This past weekend, approximately two years after my "old ass" friends and I drank his champagne, Peter and I spent a night down at that same resort. As we walked along the ocean, I couldn't help but acknowledge how far I've come in just 2 years...  how much light has come into my life in just a short amount of time and how lucky I am to start this next chapter with such a great partner. And it's not just me. There's Jonah too.

2 years later and older... same resort. 

While meeting Peter (who we should note is still younger than me), has been the best thing that has happened for me... for us, I realized this weekend that not everything is random. That good things come to those that wait... and work hard. I had a hand in my luck and my fortune. I made choices, decisions and moves. With full consciousness, I opened myself up to a possibility and worked hard to make it a reality - in love, in life, in work, in everything. It's not all just random. I did this.... I got me/us here. 

Holy crap, I'm feeling confident!

Moments later, that Beyonce "We run the world" and Fergie "Imma be the flyest chick- so fly!" feeling faded. But now I know it's there somewhere, and now I know how to find it. Like skin treatment, I shouldn't have waited this long to figure it out or feel good. They call it preventative treatment for a reason; Wrinkles are not easy to get rid of after you've sat in the sun without sunscreen for years. You gotta take care. Nightly. Daily. All the time.

On that note, if anyone wants to know what to get me for my birthday, kindly direct them to the Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Nieman's etc etc cosmetic department. Or shoe department. Nothing preventative there, just height and hotness... for all ages. 

WORKING MOM: WHAT I DO

Without getting into a diatribe about the plight of the working mom and how no one will ever understand our woes and Debbie Downer cries of "waaaaaah waaaaaaah," I would like to say simply: it's not easy. Especially when your son attends a school where the majority of moms don't work, or at least, are so involved in the minutia of the school it appears as if they don't work/ need/want to work and the joys of planning a bake sale or book fair pales in comparison graduating from Yale Law. This is not to say that those women, some of my favorite, sweetest and dearest friends, to be exact, aren't brilliant and capable of work... it's just that... well. They. don't. work. And. I. do.

Lately, Jonah has been asking me about this... "Why do you work and the other mommies don't?" There are days I'd like to respond by saying, "Because they're lucky bitches." But, of course, I refrain and offer a very matter of fact and confident, "Because I am a writer and I tell stories. That is my job. Some mommies work. Some mommies don't. Your mommy works." Often, I throw in a "I like to work" bit in there too because even though there are (jealous) days that I wish I didn't HAVE TO, the truth is, I do LIKE to. I like to work. And I want Jonah to grow up not only proud of me but see an example of a strong, smart, and professional mom.... To know that I have a full a life... To know that mommies and daddies can have careers, goals and passions and love their family equally.

However, the tricky part about my job is that it's not a one-liner. So to try to explain to a 4 year old about why I can't pick up from school today and what exactly I'm doing at work... in a world called "Digital Media" and "blogging" and working as a "spokesperson" or "brand ambassador" and how I'm connecting it all with "social media..." blah blah blah... Um, yeah. It's not so cut and dry..... and apparently NOT sooooooo veeeeeeeeeeery important or impressive according to said 4 year old anyway.... see job description below....

Actually... the kid might be on to something. I do type letters. Which does lead to sentences.... Which does lead to stories... It's simple and precise. On that note, I think I'll keep this typing to a minimum. I have work to do. ;-)

TALKING KIDS WITH TORI SPELLING

Tori Spelling is seriously one cool chick. She's fashionable, funny, and what I consider to be the best multi-tasker on the planet. From television, to books, to her handsome husband, to her most prized possessions, Liam and Stella, it seems like there's nothing she can't do.

I'm excited to share an interview I did with Tori for my friends at Red Tricycle. Check it out!

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As most of us scratch our heads amidst work deadlines, packing lunches, soccer games, and the occasional date night (huh?), wondering where in the world they sell that magical pill called “Balance,” there is one mom who seems to be able to manage it all…and then some. Actress Tori Spelling is a working mom who does it all. From acting, to her acclaimed reality show, to her New York Times best selling books, and children’s clothing line inspired by her two darling tykes Liam, 4, and Stella, 2, Tori is one multi-talented (and multi-tasking) mama. Now, she’s branching out even more. As an avid collector and design lover, she recently opened up invenTORI, an antique store in Sherman Oaks, east of Los Angeles. LA Mom Blogger Jennifer Brandt, of Perfectly Disheveled, caught up with Tori to get the scoop on her new venture, life in LA with kids, mom clothes, and everything else in between.

Red Tricycle: How did you come up with the concept for invenTORI? Did you have most of the merchandise already?
Tori Spelling: I’m an avid collector of antiques. Over the years, my passion grew to the point where I had to put so many beautiful antique pieces in storage. So, I decided to open a store filled with my antique furniture and share with everyone my personal inventory. Then, we decided to stock it with new merchandise for home, kitchen, bath, kids, pets, garden,etc… All the things that we carry are personal favorites of our family—things we always use. I also love to stock items made by fellow mompreneurs!

Though you’re a “90210″ girl, the Valley has really become your home. Tell me about picking a location for the store.
We decided to open our store in the Valley because I think the area is so family-oriented. We spend a lot of time there and I love our power block. My friend Lisa Rinna’s shop, Belle Gray, is on the corner of block before us and my friend Leslie, an amazing caterer, opened her delicious cafe Sweet Butter next door to us. We are three moms making it happen! Love that!

Okay, so Liam and Stella decided it was time to bunk up, huh? First of all, where did you find their darling beds and secondly, how do you think they’ll do sleeping in the same room? Will it be a constant slumber party?
Liam and Stella have become best friends and have to do everything together, and they decided they want to share a room. It was also Stella’s big move into a big girl bed. I decided to go old-school wrought iron antique for their beds. I searched for a while, and then found two amazing ones at the Long Beach Flea Market recently. And, I just got these amazing quilts for their beds. Stella’s is a vintage-y pink/orange floral and Liam’s is a green monkey pattern. Since they are in Stella’s room, next I’ll have to redo her pink walls to make the room gender-neutral. I’m always up for a room makeover! I asked Liam “What will we do with your old room?” He replied, without missing a beat, “Oh, that’s where I will need to put a baby brother!.” Ha ha! They are at that age where they constantly ask for a baby. Liam wants a brother and Stella a sister, of course.

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