IMMA BE... 37

My 35th Birthday

Two years ago from this exact weekend, I decided the best way to celebrate a milestone birthday (my 35th) was to do it with a group of my nearest and dearest girlfriends. Using every last bit of my savings -- or checking-- depending on how you look at it, (I admit, not one of my wisest moves), we spent the weekend at a nearby resort in an oceanside villa, drinking, laughing, eating, sunning, toasting, cheers-ing, walking, talking, drinking and taaaaawlking some more. It was my treat. My joy. My pleasure. My honor to spend a weekend with a group of women (including my mom and aunt) who were privy to all my secrets, all my stories, all my dating ups and my dating downs. To make a birthday wish surrounded by my biggest cheering squad was the best feeling in the world. 

That weekend, a bottle of champagne was sent to our room with a note: 

"Is this what old people drink? Happy Birthday. xo, P"

Drinking said Champagne. #Classy 

My girlfriends and I died. P and I had literally just started dating. Not only was this the sweetest and most thoughtful gesture, but the "old people" part was a very clever reminder about our first exchange and that I am, in fact, older than P. (It's okay, we can laugh about it). 

Two years later, P (who we can now call Peter) will become my husband in March.

It's crazy how life works. It's crazy and lucky. And fast. And not always what we think it's going to be.

In just a few days, I will turn 37. This birthday I've decided the best thing I can give to myself is confidence. Stop the bullshit. Stop the unnecessary brain chatter. And just grow up. Be an adult once and for all. As one of my best friend declared, this birthday beckons an important mission: "Operation Grow a Pair." aka OGAP.

Anyone else familiar with this OGAP? Something tells me that if you are in your 30's, it rings a bell. You want to grow up, feel good, and be better. You want to possess the confidence you hear that you finally get to have when you turn 30. Like this automatic switch that is supposed to go on.... Like the one that went on automatically when I turned 14 and I became a raging boy freak and biaaatch. Or the one that went on when I got to college and became entirely invincible (Example: deciding that smoking Parliaments when I had bronchitis was better than smoking Marlboro Mediums. I have a plethora of examples like these but for sake of time, (Remember? I'm on a mission!) I'll leave it to you to let your imagination picture a young Jenny Brandt careless and free, living in New York, backpacking through Europe, etc, etc.

Yep. I remember her.

And guess what... As you might have experienced yourself, the so-called switch - the OGAP switch- doesn't activate automatically.

Apparently, you can't get samples of confidence like you can with Kiehl's eye cream.

It turns out, not only do you have to earn it, but you have to work at it. You have to dig deep. And you have to get out of your own way. And unfortunately, like any good skin regimen, you're supposed to get started earlier than later.

This past weekend, approximately two years after my "old ass" friends and I drank his champagne, Peter and I spent a night down at that same resort. As we walked along the ocean, I couldn't help but acknowledge how far I've come in just 2 years...  how much light has come into my life in just a short amount of time and how lucky I am to start this next chapter with such a great partner. And it's not just me. There's Jonah too.

2 years later and older... same resort. 

While meeting Peter (who we should note is still younger than me), has been the best thing that has happened for me... for us, I realized this weekend that not everything is random. That good things come to those that wait... and work hard. I had a hand in my luck and my fortune. I made choices, decisions and moves. With full consciousness, I opened myself up to a possibility and worked hard to make it a reality - in love, in life, in work, in everything. It's not all just random. I did this.... I got me/us here. 

Holy crap, I'm feeling confident!

Moments later, that Beyonce "We run the world" and Fergie "Imma be the flyest chick- so fly!" feeling faded. But now I know it's there somewhere, and now I know how to find it. Like skin treatment, I shouldn't have waited this long to figure it out or feel good. They call it preventative treatment for a reason; Wrinkles are not easy to get rid of after you've sat in the sun without sunscreen for years. You gotta take care. Nightly. Daily. All the time.

On that note, if anyone wants to know what to get me for my birthday, kindly direct them to the Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Nieman's etc etc cosmetic department. Or shoe department. Nothing preventative there, just height and hotness... for all ages. 

THANKS, 2012.

It's going fast.... this train. But I am definitely on board. It's hard to believe that during this "don't blink for a second" year, so much has happened. Not stuff, but moments. Memories. Changes. My LIFE.

Let's see... In 2012, in no particular order...

1) I learned to surf.

2) I moved myself, my son, (and everything but the couch) in with my boyfriend to a new home. (His couch was much, much better than ours). 

3) I traveled to the most impoverished country in the Western Hemisphere and held the hands of extremely sick children. (Will be able to fully discuss this life altering adventure in a few more months).

4) I saw Bruce Springsteen in concert for the first time.

5) I heard a trauma surgeon tell me that my son's life was saved because of his car seat.

6) I paid off a lot of debt. 

7) I became fully aware and almost understanding of how all things Star Wars and Transformers will one day just shift into all things Sunday and Red Zone (See #2).

8) I volunteered in my son's Kindergarten class. Kinder.Garten.

9) I was featured on Elizabeth Street. Kinda cool. 

10) I found myself. My calling. My love. And my strength. 

It's been a good year. And I'm certain 2013 will be even better.

Happy New Year. Be safe, be happy, and be grateful. We are blessed. 

eBAY: SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Who cares about New Year's Resolutions or getting caught Facebook Stalking when you can finally book a vacation to Turks & Caicos? Well, okay, I may be getting ahead of myself here... But based on what I'm about to tell you, I'm feeling pretty confident that some sort of luxurious escape, replete with cabana boys and cocktails is in my near future....

Why? Because I'm working with eBay! I'm very excited to announce that I have been asked to serve as an ambassador on the eBay Parent Panel!

Now, here's the deal. I'm not a master eBay seller at all. In fact, I have to be honest, I've never even sold anything on eBay before. I've bought a couple things here and there, but sell? No. Here's why I'm thrilled about this new relationship and program:

Everyone could use a little extra income right now, especially me. Selling on eBay could not only put a little extra cash in my pocket, but it can help me get organized and part ways with dozens of things that are in perfectly fine condition, but will never be used again... My son's scooter, he used once, a blender that's never been open, etc... eBay is making their entire program relatable and easy for parents. Selling may seem like such a hassle, but truly, they've streamlined their entire selling process making it a no-brainer for even the most disheveled mommies like me. From their fashion selling guide (PDF), to seller information guide, to a simple 3 step selling process, I/you/ WE have no excuse for why the garage is cluttered with what could transform itself into a pair of Louboutins. (Hey, when I dream, I dream big.)

Anyway, next month, I'll embark on my first selling endeavor and will report back to you. (Since these days, I seem to be sharing just about everything!)

You know how to find eBay (eBay.com, hello), but also check out their blog, which I'll be contributing to, as well as their twitter and facebook pages...

Let's get rich, people. Or at least tan on a beach with fabulous shoes....

VACATION OR "STAY-CATION?"

So the word around town these days is that more and more families are opting to take "stay-cations," rather than yes, you guessed it VAAAAAAAY-cations. Okay, to be completely fair, I don't really actually know for certain that more families are doing this... I mean, I haven't seen a statistic or poll on this, BUT given the general state of our economy (which, feel free to email me and actually explain what the eff is happening to our economy and why Wall Street is crumbling. Hi, I majored in theater.), taking a stay-cation with your family actually seems like a wise and quite lovely choice. Recently, I shot this segment for Her Say, sponsored by Oscar Meyer. I really don't know what to tell you except that, I mean, you know... Quality time means quality lunch meat. Or something like that.

Enjoy.

Well if you want a real vacation with a real tan (and maybe a cabana boy), head to Her Say! We're giving away a 5 day/4 night Beaches Resorts Luxury Included® Vacation in Jamaica, with airfare for 4, provided by Delta Vacations! Amazing, right? AND It's super simple to sign up. DO IT. And take me. CLICK HERE.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: HIGH ROLLER

On vacation, why not get him started early....

Two seconds later, we were told kids can't be in the casino. Duh! Guess you got to know when to fold 'em... and know when to walk away!

(**Been on vaca! Will be back next week and updating more!**)

CHEESECAKE KIND OF GAL

Recently I filmed a branded video for Kraft in which Jill Simonian and I take a quiz to see what the desserts we love say about our personalities. Given my options, I determined I was a cheesecake kind of gal. But in truth, I'm actually a french fry, loaf of bread, butter, and bottle of wine kind of a gal. What that says about my personality? I need to move to France.

Alright, so I want to know, what dessert style are you?

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: DEEP DISH

On vacation, there are no rules.... Only good pizza...

And graffiti...

Be free my young boy, be free....

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: INTO THE WOODS

Into the woods....

To find some butterflies we go....

And.... stop at Starbucks after to refill the coffee cup mommy thought would survive in her pocket.

*Note* Hard to believe, but this is my first Wordless Wednesday. At some point I imagine I'll catch on and actually NOT use words. Be patient. :-)

THE GLASSES THAT NEVER DIE

If there is one thing in the world I can't be trusted with, it is A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES. Plastic, wired, black or tortoise shell, doesn't matter: I will break them, lose them and/or generally f*ck them up. I've learned my lesson the hard way.... buying trendy, expensive, and the requisite make-my-face-look-skinny-frames, only to sit on them (accidentally), drop kick them (accidentally), or lose them (accidentally, of course).  

The worst example of nice glasses gone bad was a couple years ago... Before a vacation, I went out and bought a fab pair, got to said (super sunny and gorge) destination, only to discover that I had forgotten them along with my entire wallet and ID at home too (but that's a whole other story).  Fortunately, the hotel we stayed at before leaving for a ten day cruise had a (not so) plethora of sunglasses for me to choose from. The majority of them made me look like a Golden Girl, but I did happen to find one pair for $15 bucks that worked....

Well, 2 1/2 years later, those effing glasses are still working. I have sat on them. I have drop kicked them. I have probably even run my car over them. They are barely hanging on, but by-golly, these bitches are still in tact. Kind of.... Wellllll, not enough for me to forgo the TRULY fabulous pair of grown up sunglasses I just bought (don't worry, they came with a case that could take a bullet), but at least enough for Baby-Ko to look ridiculously cool in the morning....

WHATEVER WORKS

I posted a while back about how I used to list all the things I would NEVER, gasp, NEVER do when I had a child of my own.  Well, those with children know how ridiculous that romantic little notion is... Especially, when you're on "vacation" with said child and said child happens to be interested in everything he shouldn't be and wants to be everywhere he shouldn't and can't be.  SO, what do you do? You go in to SURVIVAL MODE. You do what you can to get by. You make do with what you got and you break all the rules and become a mom that you never, gasp, never thought you would be. 

Yet, here you are. Sitting on the floor of a WINERY. Tempting three toddlers with cookies, books and goldfish, while you sip your wine trying to detect hints of chocolate, berries and pepper.  (This photo happens to be of one of the other mommies on the trip who I'm pretty sure never thought she'd be sitting on the floor of a winery trying to entertain to three toddlers as she sips Pinot Noir either).

I mean, there weren't very many people in the winery and we only did the short tasting (4 wines to be exact), and we of course picked up the goldfish crumbs before we left... At least that's what I keep telling myself.

And then there's the ride home. The SEVEN HOUR ride home.  The ride home I used to tell myself that would be full of singing, reading and "my father owns a grocery store and in it he sells..."  The ride home I swore that would never, I repeat never involve a movie or  DVD... What kind of parent would buy a car that promotes television watching, or bring along a device that would turn their children into bumbling idiots!?  Not me. Noooo. NEVER!  Well guess what? Apparently, my 15 month old could give a shit what my father's selling and would like to watch "Signing Times" 18,000 times in a row. Yes, that is what he would like and god help everyone in the car and on the road for that matter too, if he doesn't get his way. 

I mean, it was a little screen though. I didn't have the volume up very loud. He's now very interested in the colors of the rainbow... At least that's what I'm telling myself.

And as my Papa Ralph used to say.... Whatever works.  

BYE-BYE BIRDIES

Aloha! We just got back from a beautiful week in Maui for Dirty Uncle P and Auntie J's wedding. It was awesome. The wedding, the weather, the family and friends.... it was a blast. I can't say that I am coming back relaxed, but I definitely am coming back exhausted which is a sign that I had a great time...

So as you know by now, I hate birds. But now that Baby-Ko can actually say the word "Bird" (well, it sounds more like "burr"),  I feel like I have to stifle my desire to scream and run when those nasty little creatures fly by or land near me. When I was in college, I baby sat for a little boy and every afternoon, I would take him to this playground which was constantly bombarded by pigeons. Panicked, I would shoo away the birds and mutter something probably very inappropriate for a 3 year old to hear under my breath. One day, the birds started to hover near his stroller and on cue, Z said "Go 'way birdies. I don't wike you." Uh oh. I said, "No, you can like birds. You like birds. IIIII don't like birds." "No!" He said, "I don't wike birds. Go 'way!" And that was that. I created a monster.

Determined not to make the same mistake with my own child (ha ha), I mustered up a lot of courage (mostly impart to the constant flow of pina coladas and other umbrella laden drinks), and endured the insane amount of bird presence at the hotel. There are birds, there are parrots, there are flamingos, there are swans. There are even penguins. Vomit. BUT, I remained so calm. We even ate breakfast at Swan Court (yes, literally, it's a fucking court for swans. Die.), and  the "burrs" were flying around like it was a Hitchcock film. I wanted to scream and shoo them away with my napkin, but I didn't. Instead, I pointed them out like a good mommy. I even turned a blind eye for a half a second when he threw a piece of food on the floor purposefully so the birds would come and eat it (okay, it wasn't completely blind. I had my foot nearly up the birds beak ready to kick it the fuck away if it got any closer). The point is, the fact that Baby-Ko is using his words and identifying things and even composing sentences like "Bye-Bye Burr", I have no choice but to chill out. 

But it's a damn good  thing he doesn't know how to say "Germs" and "Plane" yet. Because I don't know just how much "chilling" I can do...

RECHARGED

Several months ago, during a Mommy & Me class, Wacky said that it was imperative that we go away with our husbands for at least one night WITHOUT the baby. She said that sending the baby to a Grandparent's house for the night and staying HOME doesn't count.... We have to go OUT OF TOWN or at least to a HOTEL "for the sake of our marriages." And she said that we MUST do this BEFORE the baby turns ONE. 

Well it only took 360 days... but we did it. We went away for the night WITHOUT the baby.... AND IT WAS WONDERFUL. For my birthday, T-Ko planned a mini-getaway to Palm Springs. We stayed at The Parker, which is soooooo up my alley. The interior design was done by Jonathan Adler, so it's very funky yet beautiful.  I was able to slip in to "vaca" mode the second we stepped foot into the hotel. Knowing that it was just T-Ko and I, no baby to tend to, no schedule to keep or house to tidy, I felt relaxed from head to toe!

Despite the fact that it was a 107 degrees, we lounged poolside and caught up on magazines, sleep, and EACH OTHER. We had fun with with each other, just each other, for the first time in a long time and it was so so great. We even ordered room service. Twice. In one night. 

Sure, we missed Baby-Ko and were thrilled to see him when we got home. But getting out of town for a little over 24 hours to reconnect, recharge and regroup WAS really exactly what we needed. Wacky, great advice. Thank you! Now where should T-Ko send the bill...?