COLLEGE

Over breakfast…

Me: (Holding up a grapefruit) Have you ever tried a grapefruit?

Jonah: Yes. Ash-a-lee (his old babysitter) shared a grapefruit with me one time.

Me: Did you like it?

J: I did. (Pause). Mommy, how come Ash-a-lee doesn’t pick me up anymore?

Me: Because she moved and is going to college.

J: College????

Me: College. Yes, it’s a school for older kids. You go there to learn about the things you love. You study interesting things in college.

J: Study??

Me: Yes, if you love numbers then you study math... If you love books and reading you study English. Or art… You could study art and about painting and drawing. (Pause). What do you want to study at college?

J: Doctor.

Me: (Beaming) You want to study to be a doctor?!

He nods.

Me: Okay! Great, well, then at college you’ll have to study about health.

J: Health-Y?

Me: Health. Doctors make sure we’re healthy. Doctors study people’s bodies. In college (I start pointing), they study bones, and organs, and skin and-

J: Fingers?

Me: Yep, fingers...

J: (Pointing) And arms and toes and eyes and mouth and hair and place mats?

Me: Um (smiling), not place mats. But they study your nose… and your teeth… and your tummy… and..

J: And poo poo, and pee pee and fro-up?

Me: Yep. Definitely pee pee and poo poo and throw up.

He takes a bite of oatmeal.

Me: You know, I went to college.

J: Where, mommy?

Me: New York University. In New York. And Daddy went to UC Santa Barbara. Where do you want to go?

J: Um, O. K. J. V. U. I . T. C...

Me: Oh, really?

J: Yeah.

Me: I think you should go to a place called Harvard. Or Yale.

He thinks about it.

J: Um, mommy… But... Do mommy’s go to college with their children?

Me: Aw. Well, no. Not usually. Because college is for big kids. You're almost an adult when you go to college. So usually, no. You don’t go with your mommy.

J: (his eyes widen) But mommy, I don’t know how to get to college. I will need the directions.

Me: (Melting) Oh, well I will absolutely make sure you have the directions to college. I will help you get there. Don’t you worry.

J: All done! (he pushes his breakfast away).

I want to scream, "No. Never. Stay at this table like this forever." Instead:

Me: Me too! Let’s go to school!

THE NEW JAMIE OLIVER

Well, tomorrow's the BIG DAY... I start a brand new full time job and Baby-Ko starts day care (full time). It goes without saying that it will be a week of adjusting and transition. I'm going to do my best tomorrow not to cry when I drop off Baby-Ko. In fact, I might take this picture with me to keep me smiling...  

I knew this kitchen was worth it....

RECHARGED

Several months ago, during a Mommy & Me class, Wacky said that it was imperative that we go away with our husbands for at least one night WITHOUT the baby. She said that sending the baby to a Grandparent's house for the night and staying HOME doesn't count.... We have to go OUT OF TOWN or at least to a HOTEL "for the sake of our marriages." And she said that we MUST do this BEFORE the baby turns ONE. 

Well it only took 360 days... but we did it. We went away for the night WITHOUT the baby.... AND IT WAS WONDERFUL. For my birthday, T-Ko planned a mini-getaway to Palm Springs. We stayed at The Parker, which is soooooo up my alley. The interior design was done by Jonathan Adler, so it's very funky yet beautiful.  I was able to slip in to "vaca" mode the second we stepped foot into the hotel. Knowing that it was just T-Ko and I, no baby to tend to, no schedule to keep or house to tidy, I felt relaxed from head to toe!

Despite the fact that it was a 107 degrees, we lounged poolside and caught up on magazines, sleep, and EACH OTHER. We had fun with with each other, just each other, for the first time in a long time and it was so so great. We even ordered room service. Twice. In one night. 

Sure, we missed Baby-Ko and were thrilled to see him when we got home. But getting out of town for a little over 24 hours to reconnect, recharge and regroup WAS really exactly what we needed. Wacky, great advice. Thank you! Now where should T-Ko send the bill...?

I GOT IT

Well, my friends, I'm happy to announce, my husband DID GOOD. He actually did better than good. He did great. I was convinced, after I got a few concerned texts and calls from him (baby wasn't napping, baby was pooping all day, Daddy didn't have time to eat lunch, etc.), that I'd be coming home to an exhausted, hysterical and overall pissed husband. But when I walked through the door late Sunday afternoon, T-Ko was smiling, the baby was beaming, and my house was surprisingly in tact. In fact, when I walked in, Baby-Ko was in his high chair, eating dinner and when I instantly went from the "Girls Gone Wild" mode that I had been in all weekend to J-Ko the Mommy and started to clean up, T-Ko said (without any thought or hesitation) "I GOT IT."

WHAT???? Just like that? YOU "GOT IT??"

WHAT? What happened to my husband? This is amazing. Three words that seemed to come so effortlessly and so nicely. Wow. less than 48 hours and my husband is a changed man.

Seriously, since coming home from Palm Springs, I have noticed a change in T-Ko... he's helpful, involved and quite frankly, I think has "seen the light." It seems like he "gets it now." T-Ko, my love, you done good. So good in fact, you're now a pro. Wanna show off your new skills again next weekend? :-)

****

SOME OTHER THOUGHTS....

1) PALIN. This woman freaks me out. She reminds me of a scary, bible thumping version of Tina Fey (who I think would make a better VP by the way). Just wondering how she plans to get America "back on track" if she can't get her daughter back on birth control...

2) Speaking of pregnant, I learned a new phrase from my Brittish girlfriend this weekend: "UP THE DUFF." It means "Knocked Up." (and is apparently very vulgar). I LOVE IT. Let's try it in a sentence, "Daughter to conservative and family value champion, Governor Sarah Palin, is UP THE DUFF." Sounds right to me.

3) 90210. Did anyone else watch it?? Like everyone else, I used to watch 90210 RELIGIOUSLY. I can remember thinking that Brandon and Dylan looked old even back then - that there was no way they were in their "teens." But this new version, is even more ridiculous. Not only are the girls BEYOND skinny, but bitches are OLD. Probably my age. Seriously! That said, IIIIIII was actually the one feeling old last night. Especially when I found myself identifying with the storylines of the parents, principals and having a crush on the hottest English teacher I ever saw! If only the faculty was that hot when I went to high school...

WHILE MOMMY'S AWAY...

This weekend I'm heading to Palm Springs for my sister in law's bachelorette party. While I am so excited, this weekend will be a huge step and test: for the first time in 11 months, my husband will be in charge. Fully in charge. Baby-Ko has only slept away (at grandparent's houses) TWICE and we were pretty much there until he fell asleep and there after he woke up. No biggie. But THIS TIME, mama's leaving bright and early Saturday morning and not coming back until late Sunday afternoon. This means, DADDY will have to navigate through breakfast, lunch and dinner, nap times, bottle times, and diaper times, and of course EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING in between.  So I thought it would be helpful for me to write him up a little manual, entitled "WHILE MOMMY'S AWAY," fully loaded with details of a typical day.  I know T-Ko's going to do a great job ... but feel free to check on him. Or at least offer to bring him coffee. I have a feeling he's going to need it...

WHILE MOMMY’S AWAY….

TYPICAL SCHEDULE….

5AM- 5:30 AM- WAKE UP #1; Sucks for you. First offer pacifier; if still up , offer him THREE (3) ounces of formula then put him back in crib

5;45- 6:00 AM- WAKE UP #2; Yahtzee. Bye-bye bed.
1) Change Diaper
2) (if hasn’t had any formula) – offer FOUR (4) ounces of formula

7:30 AM – PREPARE BREAKFAST (see list of food for options)

7:45 AM- BREAKFAST. Use this opportunity while he eats to wash the bottles (and do a line of speed). You’ll need both.

8ISH AM- DONE W/ BREAKFAST; clean his hands and face, despite his horrific cries as if you are torturing him. Take him out of high chair; while you clean up kitchen (and take the food off the floor that I promise he WILL find and eat), he plays (and hopefully poops). If he’s really fussy take him into bedroom AND….

8:15 AM- Change his diaper. Change him out of PJ’s and in to tee shirt and shorts. He will want to play a little bit on floor of bedroom then. He loves the stool with the puzzles. Sit there with him and catch your breath. Don’t look at the clock. You’ll want to cry.

8:30 – 8:45AM NAP TIME. Turn off lights. Make sure you have plenty of pacifiers standing by. He likes to throw them at nap time. Sit in the rocking chair. Give him his blankie and READ. Moo Ba La La La, Brown Bear Brown Bear, What’s Wrong little Pookie and END with Goodnight Moon. Read all of them softly with very little enthusiasm. He will pick all of them up and chuck them over the side of the chair at one point. Keep reading (even without the book in your hand. Trust me). Once he gets squirmy put him against your chest or just put him in crib. He may or may not fall asleep so you might have to go back in and pick him up. Sit down, rock him and then put him down again. (We’ll get it right with the second kid).

9AM- Once he’s down, prepare a SEVEN (7) ounce bottle (just with water). And leave it on the counter so it’s ready for you when he wakes up (and you don’t have to warm it.). You can use this time to go back to sleep OR, I recommend SHOWERING, getting dressed, eating some breakfast, and having more coffee (you HAVE had coffee by now, NO?) The bed WILL call out to you, but trust me, in 4 hours from now, you’ll be wishing you had showered. ***

9:45- 10:30AM- WAKE UP FROM NAP. (His, not yours). He gets his SECOND BOTTLE FOUR HOURS AFTER THE FIRST. (so, if first bottle was at 6AM, at 10 you can give him second bottle – 7oz; OR upon wake up if after 10am). IF you haven’t showered, put him in the swing WITH his bottle (he can give it to himself). He also can drink this bottle in the car if you leave…

10:30- 12:00AM- PLAY TIME. Or leave. Make sure you are not driving or in car PAST 12. He will fall asleep in car and nap is not until later! (he may want a snack during this time, especially if you’re out. See list of snacks).

12NOON- 12:30AM- PREPARE LUNCH (See food options) OR GO TO RESTAURANT AND START FEEDING HIM

12:30- 1:00PM- LUNCH

1:15- 1:30PM- If you are home, clean up lunch, let him play (and once again hopefully poop). Then CHANGE DIAPER.

1:45PM-   SECOND NAP. Same routine as nap #1 (again, you will prepare a 7oz bottle with water so it’s ready for you when he wakes up).

2:30-3:15PM- WAKE UP FROM NAP. Offer him THIRD Bottle. This one he usually only takes about 3-4 oz of. Whatever time you start bottle, just make sure that by 4pm he is not having anymore so as not to interfere with dinner.

3:30-5ishPM- PLAY TIME. He may want a snack during this time too. (see list of snacks)

5:00PM- PREPARE DINNER (see list of food options).

5:30PM- DINNER. (Smile. The day is alllllllllllmost over)

6:00PM- FINISH DINNER. PLAY FOR 15-30 min depending on mood and what time he woke up from nap. PREPARE 7oz bottle (just water) so it’s ready for you after bath.

6:15-6:30PM- BATHTIME (you’re almost at the end!). After bath, diaper with A&D, PJ’s, brush hair.

6:45PM- MAKE BOTTLE. ROUND UP PACIS. Turn on nightlight. Grab his blankie and sit down (for the first time all day). I actually love this time. It’s so peaceful. You may or may not have to read to him and do the nap routine…

7:15PM- NIGHT NIGHT!!!! Go pour yourself a stiff drink. And call me to tell me that you can’t believe how exhausting it really is.

Xoxoxo,
Mommy

***You should also use this time to PACK UP HIS DIAPER BAG and make sure it’s all set for you to go when he wakes up so you don’t have to run around the house AND make sure he’s not eating poison and sticking his fingers in electrical outlets. When leaving the house , You need the following: 3 1/2 scoops of formula in the already sectioned container; one bottle for his afternoon feeding filled with water to 7 oz; and extra EMPTY bottle, because you never know; an EMPTY sippy cup, pacifiers, 3 diapers, wipes, some small toys, a burp cloth, and anything else you can think of.... that is, if you have enough brain power at this point to even think!