THROWBACK THURSDAY: MY BROCCOLI BOY

Every now and again, I start feeling a little sentimental about how much I miss Jonah's baby and toddler years. Though age 6 is proving to be fantastic in a million ways,  there are moments, like this morning, when I wish I could go back in time... just for a little... The new words he'd use, the developments he'd make, the way he ate... I know this sounds silly, but when a 6 year old eats, let's be honest- it looks, well, like eating and usually just looks like a mess (on the floor). Eating is for survival at this point.  But when a 1, 2, or 3 year old eats... Well, to me it was like watching a rare bird (scratch that, I hate birds. What am I thinking?!)-- it was like watching a rare, baby tiger eat for the first time. It's fascinating, sweet, and produces some special moments that for whatever reason, stick with you forever. (For the record, I'm actually not one of those people that find it fascinating when animals eat. Like, at all. But since the majority of world does care, I used that analogy for them. I do what I can).

Since it's Throwback Thursday, and since I'm feeling particularly mushy this fine 43 degree - SoCal morning, I thought I'd share a clip I found from a few years ago. Jonah was about 3 1/2. Just before this video started, he was asking about how people swallow and to tell him about "Spit," which I explained was called "saliva."  As an expert on saliva, ahem, if you're a fellow parent, you'll find my answer to be quite comforting, if nothing else. And trust me, there's nothing else. I only know what I know people.

Anyway, enjoy and cherish the small moments. And eat your broccoli. xo, JB

THROWBACK THURSDAY: FOUND VIDEO

We are in the process of moving and I'm in clean up mode from top to bottom, inside and out... Including all things tech. So, I found this video while cleaning up my computer. It's probably about 3 years old, as Jonah was really only about 2 (though his silliness and sense of humor was quite evident even then). I'm a total dork in the video and I'm not quite sure where exactly I was looking or why I even shot it... but boy, I can't believe how time is flying. Next week is the last week of school... and then it's on to Kindergarten (the real Kindergarten). Videos like these remind me to savor every moment... and to also burn whatever blouse that was that I was wearing.
xo, JB

#throwbackthursday

MY DREAM

For the past few weeks, Baby-Ko has woken up saying "Mommy, I'm up from my dream! Come get me!" As I pick him up out of his crib (yes, he's turning 3. No, he's not in a big boy bed yet), I do my best to cheerily ask him about said dream.

Me: "What did you dream about?"

Baby-Ko: "The jungle!"

Me: "The jungle?!"

Baby-Ko: "Yaaaaaaaaaah, the jungle. And, and, and, the ocean!"

Now before you marvel at how amazingly imaginative my young boy is, I must confess: He did not come to these brilliant visions and landscapes on his own. I sort of fed them to him... At some point, during a typical nightly sleep battle, I encouraged him to close his eyes and think of all these lovely places... I promised him, that in the morning, "when the moon goes down, and the sun comes up," we would talk about our dreams... And I did. In the morning, I asked him about his dream. He just said "it was good," then asked me what I dreamt about.... Well, one day I dreamt about a lake, the next day it was an ocean, another it was a farm, and so on...

Fast forward to this morning.... He dreamt about a monkey biting him and a lion named Fred. He caught on quickly.

The point to me sharing this is that it's what happens AFTER our little dream sequence, if you will, that will hopefully matter the most in his life and in mine. Every morning, after he gets out of bed, he comes in to mine, I offer him a "snackie," he chooses a show to watch (well, it's not like he chooses any show. It's not like he's like, "oh mom, you recorded, Weeds. Let's watch"), and I go back to sleep as long as humanly possible....

I gently try to remind Baby-Ko that there's an entire bed, and he should move over...

But he has made up his mind... he's staying put....

Sometimes he literally puts his head on top of mine. Skull to skull doesn't feel great and, to be honest, is kind of annoying...

But I know one day he won't want to do this- he won't want to cuddle and he certainly won't want to talk about wild monkeys and talking lions.... So for now, I'll deal with the lack of space and the lack of sleep. If anything, it makes for some truly wild dreams of my own....

EAT THIS

As you may recall from the string cheese incident that rocked the nation in late 2009, my beloved 2.5 year-old son, is quite particular about food. It has to be cut just so... Served just so.... Fed just so... Nothing can touch, nothing can be too hot, and nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, may be eaten (aka stolen) from his plate, unless he is in the sharing mood and demanding that everyone at the table takes a bite (whether they like it or not).

Baby-Ko's appetite and palette is completely unpredictable. One day he may devour an entire plate of spaghetti and "meat-a-balls," and another day he may completely protest it. Unfortunately, this combination, and my inherent neurosis as a Jewish mother who runs a parenting website and has access to far too much information, means that I am at his every whim come meal time... I come with more choices than a menu at Cheesecake Factory.

Just this morning, Baby-Ko got in to bed with me for our normal 6:30 am visit, and asked for a "snackie." Before I could even offer him a cup of cheerios, he was already asking for "something else!" Nine different options of snacks that I have gotten used to finding under my covers night after night later, he settled on sliced apples. (BTW, you realize that means I had to actually get up and slice the apple... BC (before coffee) that is a painful, painful process). The point is, I. AM. A. RESTAURANT.

While I'm certain that I'm not the only mom who turns in to a short order cook every meal, I'm also certain that there are moms out there that have trained their little ones to eat what they're served... even if the spinach is god forbid touching the macaroni and cheese.

Check out the video that's up on Momversation and tell me, ARE YOU A RESTAURANT? If not, what is your trick? Do your children eat what is served? Tell me your thoughts.... Please!

MOMMY DEAREST

I realize that most toddlers like to throw their food on to the floor, but Baby-Ko is definitely testing his limits in this department these days. I've started to sit him at the table, on a booster seat, without the tray. I place his food on an (overpriced, but darling and alphabet laden) place mat, in hopes that my royal highness will enjoy his cut up (overpriced, but nitrate free) chicken nuggets without picking up his (overpriced, but supposedly ergonomic or some shit) fork and chucking it across the room for no real good reason. 

Unfortunately though, there seems to be nothing I can say or do lately to stop him from throwing said fork and the entire place mat with food on all over the floor. I've begged, pleaded, tried to reason, tried to distract, sung, danced, and even bribed. Doesn't matter: Without fail, meal time has turned in to a food fight. Literally.

But yesterday, it occurred to me that there might be one thing that will teach him a lesson: The Monster. The VACUUM Monster. Baby-Ko has neeeeeeeever liked the sound (or even sight for that matter) of the Vacuum. In fact, I rarely vacuum in his presence (oh, who am I kidding. I rarely vacuum AT ALL), just because it freaks him out so much and I feel bad. But last night, mean mommy surfaced and I decided to play hardball. After chucking his chopped spinach (which BTW, ain't so easy to just pick up off of carpet), and mac and cheese across the room, I said "that's it! Now mommy has to vacuum!" So I went and got the vacuum, and while Baby-Ko sat in his chair, I vacuumed everything around him. He did cry a little bit and said "no mo vack-oom," but he eventually calmed down. I put it away and looked him in the eye and said, "When you throw food, Mommy has to vacuum. Okay? No more throwing food." I kissed him on the head and put out strawberries. Without missing a beat he held one up and said, "Mo vack-oom. NOOO!" and stuffed it in his mouth. Friggin' genius. Mom-Mission Accomplished!

But alas, my hopes and dreams of being the smartest (but still dirtiest, of course) mommy on the block was thwarted, when breakfast time became battle time today. What started off as a calm and very un-messy meal, turned in to scrambled egg and melon hurricane. Before the storm hit, I praised Baby-Ko for keeping his food on his place mat and eating it like such a big boy (adding and naming every one of his friends that also eat like big boys).  But minutes later, toddler-ness kicked in and "eggies" went flying. 

"That's it!" I said not effing around. "I have to vacuum. We do not throw food. When Baby-Ko throws food, Mommy has to vacuum."  

"No!!" He cried as I got out the Monster. "Mommy no!"

But I did it. I got out the vacuum despite how scared he actually looked.  Suddenly I felt AWFUL.  Who am I, Joan Crawford???!?!  He clearly hates the vacuum. (It does make a really screechy kind of awful sound that bothers me too actually). I mean, I know this is just a phase - the throwing food everywhere - so should I be letting it go? Should I give up on trying to have a clean carpet? Is he too young to be taught a lesson? Is my vacuum method cruel and unusual punishment??? 

PLEASE parents, advise. Tell me what YOU do with your toddlers when they throw food, and clearly know they're not supposed to.

Oh, and PS....  If you have suggestions on how to teach your kid not to eat markers, feel free to throw that in too....

WHATEVER WORKS

I posted a while back about how I used to list all the things I would NEVER, gasp, NEVER do when I had a child of my own.  Well, those with children know how ridiculous that romantic little notion is... Especially, when you're on "vacation" with said child and said child happens to be interested in everything he shouldn't be and wants to be everywhere he shouldn't and can't be.  SO, what do you do? You go in to SURVIVAL MODE. You do what you can to get by. You make do with what you got and you break all the rules and become a mom that you never, gasp, never thought you would be. 

Yet, here you are. Sitting on the floor of a WINERY. Tempting three toddlers with cookies, books and goldfish, while you sip your wine trying to detect hints of chocolate, berries and pepper.  (This photo happens to be of one of the other mommies on the trip who I'm pretty sure never thought she'd be sitting on the floor of a winery trying to entertain to three toddlers as she sips Pinot Noir either).

I mean, there weren't very many people in the winery and we only did the short tasting (4 wines to be exact), and we of course picked up the goldfish crumbs before we left... At least that's what I keep telling myself.

And then there's the ride home. The SEVEN HOUR ride home.  The ride home I used to tell myself that would be full of singing, reading and "my father owns a grocery store and in it he sells..."  The ride home I swore that would never, I repeat never involve a movie or  DVD... What kind of parent would buy a car that promotes television watching, or bring along a device that would turn their children into bumbling idiots!?  Not me. Noooo. NEVER!  Well guess what? Apparently, my 15 month old could give a shit what my father's selling and would like to watch "Signing Times" 18,000 times in a row. Yes, that is what he would like and god help everyone in the car and on the road for that matter too, if he doesn't get his way. 

I mean, it was a little screen though. I didn't have the volume up very loud. He's now very interested in the colors of the rainbow... At least that's what I'm telling myself.

And as my Papa Ralph used to say.... Whatever works.