WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: ACCESSORIES ARE KEY!

Star Wars tee and bangles? It works!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: SMILE PRINCESS!

Something tells me working the breakfast shift, just down the road from the actual magical kingdom, wasn't part of "Jasmine's" fairy tale.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING

...And that's just what they'll do. Kind of.

PARK RULES

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post for Momlogic about the Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate the Park. Although there was a little truth to it (yes, I hate birds. Always will), I mostly meant it as a joke (kind of). Now that Jonah is older, I definitely do enjoy trips to the park more because he's able to explore and play in a different way than when he was a toddler. I love watching him interact with children he doesn't know and climb on equipment confidently.... That is, until bitches get in my way. Let me rephrase: Old bitches.

Okay. I know that is going to sound very harsh, but what happened to us over the weekend needs to be shared, examined and discussed, because I have a feeling this has happened to other moms too.

Let me paint the picture:

We're at the park. Jonah is having a great time. He's climbing, playing, moving merrily along and minding the other children (and their space) appropriately. And like any energetic 3 year old, he's happy to slide down the slide, and climb up the stairs 47 times in a row without missing a beat.

Fine. So he makes his way back up the stairs for thrill #48. He gets to the top of the slide and sits patiently as another kid gets to the bottom. Just as Jonah is about to slide down, a little girl, (being watched by an older, very tucked and pulled woman), starts to climb UP the slide. Said Old Bitch says nothing.

"Jonah," I say. "It looks like this little girl is going to climb up the slide now," I say somewhat incredulously in OB's direction. She doesn't flinch, but I assume it's just from too many visits to Dr. 90210.

Jonah stares at the girl. "I want to go down."

"Please wait, sweetheart. She is coming up and isn't going to let you slide down. I'm sorry," I say gritting my teeth.

"But it's my turn!"

"I know. But---------" WHOOSH. He slides down RIGHT into the girl.

"WAHHHHHHHH!" The girl cries.

"Jonah! I told you to wait! I'm so sorry!" I say to the little girl.

OB let's out a little "Tsk, tsk," and I feel botox needles stares coming from her eyes. I try to contain my rage.

I pull Jonah off the slide and say to him loudly, "I know you got really excited because it was your turn, and you were following THE RULE by going DOWN the slide. But next time, even when there is someone breaking the rules and potentially getting hurt, you need to be good person and make good decisions for yourself, no matter what the other children are doing."

OB's older grandson (maybe 6 or 7?) says, "We can go up and down the slide any time. There are no rules."

"Actually," I say loudly in case they tucked her ears too much, "There ARE park rules. Going up the slide can be dangerous."

OB says under her breath, "You're something else."

Wha- whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???!

"You're unbelievable."

"Excuse me?!" I turn to her.

"There are no park rules. Children can go up and down the slide whenever they want."

"UM, no. No they cannot. When children are going down, the person going up the slide needs to wait."

"Whatever," she says.

"No, not whatever. Is it okay for a kid to stand in front of a moving swing because that's where they want to stand in the no-rule park land you live in?!"

"You're unbelievable," she mutters trying to garner sympathy from a nanny who I'm guessing had zero comprehension of the words we were exchanging.

"Come, Jonah. Time to go."

On the way home, Jonah asked me a dozen times to explain to him what had happened on the slide and why mommy yelled at the lady. (Oy) Each time, I tried to explain the importance of being a good person and how to make good decisions, in spite of adversity, blah blah blah.

Though Jonah totally "hurt" the little girl, I 100% believe she and Cat Eyes are to blame. I think about it like this-- In the state of California, if you open your car door and a car drives by and takes it off- guess what?-- it's YOUR fault. You opened your car door in to on-coming traffic. Sure, the car COULD have been driving slower or could have swerved, but essentially, you were not being cautious or waiting until the coast is clear.

Well, in my opinion The UP-DOWN slide rule at the park is exactly the same. And to say that there's no such thing as "Park Rules....?" Well... that just seems plain ludicrous.

What do YOU think? How would you explain this to your kid if they were going down OR if they were coming up? Do you think I should have punished Jonah?

Tell me your thoughts!!!

MUST HAVE TOY?

Toys. Is there really a reason to ever buy real ones? I mean... from the Raaawrr (like a bear) game, to the "I Can't Find Jonah... Here I am Mommy!" game (aka. I-haven't-quite-grasped-the-hide-and-go-seek-concept yet-game), to the Wrap-him-up-like-a-burrito-and-pretend-I-ordered-a-quesadilla-instead game, sometimes I wonder if buying a child an elaborate toy is even necessary....

I mean, when a 3 year old has as much fun cramming as many stuffed animals into his pajamas as he can, for the mere opportunity to see himself with a lumpy tush, is investing in the hottest, and probably toxic toy, worth it?

Well, fortunately for YOU, you can have the best of both worlds and not spend a dime.... Parents Ask is giving away $150 to Toys"R"Us PLUS an awesome Melissa & Doug Wooden work bench (that is most certainly NOT toxic). Simply leave a comment on the link and you will be entered to win. Good luck!

MY DREAM

For the past few weeks, Baby-Ko has woken up saying "Mommy, I'm up from my dream! Come get me!" As I pick him up out of his crib (yes, he's turning 3. No, he's not in a big boy bed yet), I do my best to cheerily ask him about said dream.

Me: "What did you dream about?"

Baby-Ko: "The jungle!"

Me: "The jungle?!"

Baby-Ko: "Yaaaaaaaaaah, the jungle. And, and, and, the ocean!"

Now before you marvel at how amazingly imaginative my young boy is, I must confess: He did not come to these brilliant visions and landscapes on his own. I sort of fed them to him... At some point, during a typical nightly sleep battle, I encouraged him to close his eyes and think of all these lovely places... I promised him, that in the morning, "when the moon goes down, and the sun comes up," we would talk about our dreams... And I did. In the morning, I asked him about his dream. He just said "it was good," then asked me what I dreamt about.... Well, one day I dreamt about a lake, the next day it was an ocean, another it was a farm, and so on...

Fast forward to this morning.... He dreamt about a monkey biting him and a lion named Fred. He caught on quickly.

The point to me sharing this is that it's what happens AFTER our little dream sequence, if you will, that will hopefully matter the most in his life and in mine. Every morning, after he gets out of bed, he comes in to mine, I offer him a "snackie," he chooses a show to watch (well, it's not like he chooses any show. It's not like he's like, "oh mom, you recorded, Weeds. Let's watch"), and I go back to sleep as long as humanly possible....

I gently try to remind Baby-Ko that there's an entire bed, and he should move over...

But he has made up his mind... he's staying put....

Sometimes he literally puts his head on top of mine. Skull to skull doesn't feel great and, to be honest, is kind of annoying...

But I know one day he won't want to do this- he won't want to cuddle and he certainly won't want to talk about wild monkeys and talking lions.... So for now, I'll deal with the lack of space and the lack of sleep. If anything, it makes for some truly wild dreams of my own....

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