BALANCE, SHMALANCE...

As I closed Baby-Ko's door, I glanced at the clock and the "how much time do I have until he wakes up from his nap" game began. My to-do list is never ending, yet not enough drip from Starbucks could cure my exhaustion. Take a nap or take a trip to the grocery store? Take a nap or write? Take a nap or put away laundry? Take a nap or spend time with my husband? It's always about trying to find the balance and choosing between me, someone, or something else. I remembered what Dr. Karen Hill-Scott, Early Childhood and Development Consultant for Baby Einstein had to say: THERE IS NO BALANCE.

**

Last week, I had the privilege of attending a blogger summit hosted by Baby Einstein. They gathered several "mommy bloggers and writers" to see what the mommy world had to say about BE and share with us some new products. It was a really interesting event and I met some incredibly smart and talented women (which I plan on blogging about this week!).  When the topic of motherhood came up,  Dr. Hill-Scott, who I believe has 4 children and 8 grandchildren, shared what I thought was a beautiful analogy. She said she didn't believe in "balance." She said life is a freeway with 6 lanes... you just got to go and look over your shoulder as you change lanes.... There's no way to have it all- and unfortunately, (if you're a working mom) putting your husband first is totally unrealistic. Just go fast, go slow, change lanes and drive at a speed depending on what's going on... You're either in the fast lane or the slow lane but you can't drive in all lanes at once...

Obviously, Dr. Hill-Scott didn't just reinvent the wheel with her analogy but hearing it on a day  that I was dealing with what felt like 900 mini disasters (including a major plumbing issue due to me accidentally flushing the toilet paper holder down the toilet... don't ask), meant so much and resonated with me deeply....

**

I ended up taking a nap, then writing a bit, then sitting with my husband for about 25 seconds before the baby woke up. I even got to see my best friend for dinner last night. The laundry never got put away, but there's always tonight... depending on how fast I drive home...

A SIGN OF THE TIMES

As I sat at my desk, desperate to conquer some of my ever-growing, never diminishing "To Do List," I realized IT WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN.  It was 1:30. I hadn't even showered,  I hadn't eaten lunch, and I certainly hadn't called the woman to "handle the thing" (I assume in every marriage, someone always is obligated to call someone about "the thing." Right?)

I climbed out of the chair and sank to the floor,  strewn with random "toys" from my office... a remote control, a roll of tape, an old calculator and a giant stuffed Elmo.  I turned to Baby-Ko. He squinted and smiled from ear to ear. Finally, Mama. Didn't you realize 11 months ago that you'd never be able to do anything else but pay attention to me?  Jeez.

Feeling a bit defeated and saddened by the fact that my old "do it/ get it done fast" way of life is officially no longer, I decided to take Baby-Ko back out to living room, where his real toys are. All of a sudden, from the TV speakers I hear, "Welcome to Signing Time!" I remembered that I had recorded it (I usually have  the XM classical station on the TV playing softly) and the DVR must have switched over. 

I felt a little guilty as I pointed to the TV, encouraging Baby-Ko to watch. At first he didn't seem to care. Then all of a sudden, he zoned....


And zoned...

and zoned...

Within minutes, I was watching him from the kitchen, checking my voicemail(s), preparing AND eating my sandwich, and taking my first breath of the day. Am I a horrible mother? It's not the "evil" Baby Einstein at least, right? AND look, he's trying to mimic their signing! (Ironically, they were working on the sign for "TV.")  

After I scarfed down my sandwich and Baby-Ko discovered that the taste of the foam guard on the coffee table was more interesting than Hopkins, the signing frog, it was time to put Baby-Ko down for a nap...

I still haven't tackled the "important" stuff on my To Do list and I doubt that I'll be able to get it done tomorrow, or even any time soon for that matter... I'll try to embrace it... or at least take it as a sign...