THANKS, FREUD

As best as I can, I will try to not make this another blog post about poop. I will say, however, I'm starting to think that Jonah's constant potty talk isn't just impart to his age. But rather, much like Degas' fascination with ballet dancers, there is an underlying theme to my young artist's budding imagination and visions. Perhaps his bowel movements, or lack thereof, are on his mind, as much as they're on mine....

Take these series of drawings if you will....

When asked what he was drawing, he said matter of factly, "They are squiggly circles."

And then I saw this picture, drawn at school and dictated to one of the teachers.

Look people, I'm not trying to get too heavy but clearly, J's obsession with "squiggly circles" and recurrent severe constipation is no joke. Jonah is clearly amidst what Freud dubbed as the "Poop Phase." Well, I dubbed it the Poop Phase. Freud actually calls it "The Anal Stage." Scholar.

Here's what it is:

At one and one-half years, the child enters the anal stage. With the advent of toilet training comes the child's obsession with the erogenous zone of the anus and with the retention or expulsion of the feces. This represents a classic conflict between the id, which derives pleasure from expulsion of bodily wastes, and the ego and superego, which represent the practical and societal pressures to control the bodily functions. The child meets the conflict between the parent's demands and the child's desires and physical capabilities in one of two ways: Either he puts up a fight or he simply refuses to go (<---THAT'S JONAH!!).... A child may opt to retain feces, thereby spiting his parents while enjoying the pleasurable pressure of the built-up feces on his intestine. If this tactic succeeds and the child is overindulged, he will develop into an anal retentive character. This character is neat, precise, orderly, careful, stingy, withholding, obstinate, meticulous, and passive-aggressive. The resolution of the anal stage, proper toilet training, permanently affects the individual propensities to possession and attitudes towards authority. This stage lasts from one and one-half to two years.

http://www.victorianweb.org/science/freud/develop.html

While I'm slightly concerned that he'll grow up to be "obstinate" and "anal retentive," I think it's much better than the other kid who poops a lot. " ... an anal expulsive character. This character is generally messy, disorganized, reckless, careless, and defiant."

Anyway, for now, I'm happy to be be in the Anal Stage of life. Apparently up next is The Phallic Stage. And that is one phase I'm definitely not ready for...

HER SAY!

Exciting news! I'm going to be co-hosting a new daily web series with Soleil Moonfrye called HerSay which launches and premieres tomorrow. The show will be a daily show covering all the hot topics from around the web. We'll talk about parenting, relationships, celebrity, fashion and food. (PS. Just signed on to be Managing Editor of the site too!) Talking with Soleil is like talking with your very best friend or someone you've known forever.... In fact, I feel like I have known her forever... As a child in Los Angeles, I did a little bit of acting and one of the commercials I did in the 1980's was a Punky Brewster doll commercial. (Did you have the Punky Brewster doll?) It came out over the holidays... I want to say like 1985?

Anyway, I kiiiiind of looked like her (or at least wanted to look like her). The commercial is HYSTERICAL. I found it on YouTube. Watching it, I'm 99.9% sure that my voice was not that annoying. I think.

(It's so "vintage" I couldn't even embed it. Click HERE to watch).

Horrible quality. Not to worry, HerSay will look muuuuuuch better. ;-) Here's a little "behind the scenes" Soleil shot of us last week at rehearsals.

Find more videos like this on moonfrye

THE TRUTH ABOUT MOTHERHOOD

Recently, I read an article written by a guy who recounts all the glorious ways in which motherhood "improved" his wife. Aside from the fact that she kind of sounded like a total bee (before babies), he talks about how motherhood has not only softened her but has also domesticated her. She now bakes, crafts, and is totally organized.

Um. I have had the complete opposite experience. As an ACTUAL former type-a, anal retentive, utterly organized, ridiculously crafty and cute person, I've turned into a VIRTUALLY type-a, anal retentive, utterly organized, crafty and cute person. Meaning: It's all in MY HEAD now. Those traits are there. Ready to emerge and shine with the right amount of time, sleep, and funds. If given a magic wand, I'm certain I'd be able to facilitate the former me with a sprinkle of mommy dust.

But alas, I can't. I'm too engaged in a round of "Please stop running with a pen and let me put your pants on... " or "Sure I'm a full time working mom, but yes, sign me up to bring tacos for the teachers luncheon or read books to a class in which my child is not in.... I have alllllllll the time in the world."

In essence, what I'm saying is, most days, I'm not sure I have necessarily improved with motherhood.

(Have you?) My life on the other hand, that's a completely different story. It's better in every way.

Today, my sweet friend Debi of The Truth About Motherhood has asked me to share my 10 Truths About Motherhood for her 2nd anniversary. (Happy Anniversary!). I adore this woman and her blog, and am so very honored she asked me to contribute.

What's your one truth about motherhood? Have you personally "improved" because of it?

FAMILY FINDS: 25% to 35% off Dodger Tickets

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WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: 'TIS THE SEASON

Goodbye lovely smelly lotions and perfumes...

Hello, summer skin....

THE WEB I WEAVE

It all started about 9 months ago... It's out of control now really. I had no intention of it getting this bad. The lying, the cheating, the sheer fabrication... But it's my only hope sometimes. My only chance. Sometimes, it's The. Only. Way. To. Get. My. Three. Year. Old. To. Get. In. The. Car.

And. Quiet.

HOWEVER, my days of lying may have come to an end. The kid is on to me. He knows that the sign in the public bathroom doesn't say "Pee here, or you can't get an ice cream." He knows that Page 12 of the never ending book about a weird horse named Freelander or something like that, doesn't say "Time to get some rest! To continue reading, close book and start again tomorrow night." AND he KNOWS that the street sign, or any other sign for that matter, (the grocery store, library, park, etc, etc) doesn't ALWAYS mean "it's closed."

In fact, my bullshit parade is so transparent, that he even tried to pull a fast one on another child at a birthday party a few weeks ago. The party was a picnic at the park, so Jonah had his little T-Ball stand and bat with him. When the child, who was about 6 months or so younger than him, tried to share the bat, Jonah yanked it, pointed to the writing on the bat and said: "NO! It's says, 'No children except for Jonah can use this bat.'" Oops.

Sure, he's clever and quick, but what about when he really can read? Am I screwed or is he? The other day while driving, he was pointing out letters on every sign he saw.

At one point he said, "S.T.O.P. Stop!" Brilliant.

"How about 'H.O.M.E,'" I said virtually sounding out. "Do you know what that spells?"

"Pink Berry!" Right.

Perhaps this lying game can continue on for just a wee bit longer....

MANNERS MONDAY: RSVP ETIQUETTE!

When it comes to invitations of any kind, I do try to take some consideration when it comes to RSVPing. Ironically, I pulled a big RSVP "no no" just yesterday. Weeks ago, I had responded "Yes" to a 1st birthday party. Apparently, I had also responded "Yes" to plans to go to the Zoo with the entire family. DUH. Today, Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners and I discuss RSVP etiquette... clearly, I need to heed my own advice!

Manners Monday: RSVP! from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's RSVP Tips!

Ø Keep Track of Your Invites. Once you receive an invitation, you should RSVP within 24-48 hours of its receipt. This system helps to diminish any problems that may arise if another invitation for the same date and time arrives in the mail days later.

Ø Split Your Time Sensibly. Although technically you are only obligated to attend the first invitation you receive, you may feel inclined (or obliged) to RSVP to more than one engagement at a given time. If that is the case, the trick is to be respectful and split your time sensibly to ensure you are not offending the invitees who probably wish they had you committed for the "whole enchilada".

Ø Pay Extra Careful Attention to Electronic Invites. This becomes an especially delicate matter on sites such as Evite because you are able to see who opened your invitation, but did not respond. Think twice before publishing your invite list for all to see if you are concerned that some may base their decision on who else is coming.

Ø Make Sure You Have a Good Excuse! If you are unable to RSVP positively to an event, that is perfectly fine, as long as you have a decent and thoughtful excuse. How you deliver your excuse and the words you choose to express yourself can make all the difference.