WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: 'TIS THE SEASON

Goodbye lovely smelly lotions and perfumes...

Hello, summer skin....

THE WEB I WEAVE

It all started about 9 months ago... It's out of control now really. I had no intention of it getting this bad. The lying, the cheating, the sheer fabrication... But it's my only hope sometimes. My only chance. Sometimes, it's The. Only. Way. To. Get. My. Three. Year. Old. To. Get. In. The. Car.

And. Quiet.

HOWEVER, my days of lying may have come to an end. The kid is on to me. He knows that the sign in the public bathroom doesn't say "Pee here, or you can't get an ice cream." He knows that Page 12 of the never ending book about a weird horse named Freelander or something like that, doesn't say "Time to get some rest! To continue reading, close book and start again tomorrow night." AND he KNOWS that the street sign, or any other sign for that matter, (the grocery store, library, park, etc, etc) doesn't ALWAYS mean "it's closed."

In fact, my bullshit parade is so transparent, that he even tried to pull a fast one on another child at a birthday party a few weeks ago. The party was a picnic at the park, so Jonah had his little T-Ball stand and bat with him. When the child, who was about 6 months or so younger than him, tried to share the bat, Jonah yanked it, pointed to the writing on the bat and said: "NO! It's says, 'No children except for Jonah can use this bat.'" Oops.

Sure, he's clever and quick, but what about when he really can read? Am I screwed or is he? The other day while driving, he was pointing out letters on every sign he saw.

At one point he said, "S.T.O.P. Stop!" Brilliant.

"How about 'H.O.M.E,'" I said virtually sounding out. "Do you know what that spells?"

"Pink Berry!" Right.

Perhaps this lying game can continue on for just a wee bit longer....

MANNERS MONDAY: RSVP ETIQUETTE!

When it comes to invitations of any kind, I do try to take some consideration when it comes to RSVPing. Ironically, I pulled a big RSVP "no no" just yesterday. Weeks ago, I had responded "Yes" to a 1st birthday party. Apparently, I had also responded "Yes" to plans to go to the Zoo with the entire family. DUH. Today, Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners and I discuss RSVP etiquette... clearly, I need to heed my own advice!

Manners Monday: RSVP! from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's RSVP Tips!

Ø Keep Track of Your Invites. Once you receive an invitation, you should RSVP within 24-48 hours of its receipt. This system helps to diminish any problems that may arise if another invitation for the same date and time arrives in the mail days later.

Ø Split Your Time Sensibly. Although technically you are only obligated to attend the first invitation you receive, you may feel inclined (or obliged) to RSVP to more than one engagement at a given time. If that is the case, the trick is to be respectful and split your time sensibly to ensure you are not offending the invitees who probably wish they had you committed for the "whole enchilada".

Ø Pay Extra Careful Attention to Electronic Invites. This becomes an especially delicate matter on sites such as Evite because you are able to see who opened your invitation, but did not respond. Think twice before publishing your invite list for all to see if you are concerned that some may base their decision on who else is coming.

Ø Make Sure You Have a Good Excuse! If you are unable to RSVP positively to an event, that is perfectly fine, as long as you have a decent and thoughtful excuse. How you deliver your excuse and the words you choose to express yourself can make all the difference.

THE REVOLUTION: PHASE 1

Who knew that getting rid of clothes that scream "final days of 90210!" and buying a few new duds that scream "WEAR ME" could stir up something big in me? The fashion makeover/wardrobe overhaul a few weeks ago that rocked the nation (okay, maybe just my nation) seriously revved up my design senses from head to toe, inside and out. It made me think not just about my own appearance, but the design or lack thereof, that's going on in my home. I've been divorced for 2 years, living in an apartment with so much potential and beauty, yet have done nothing about it. I live here, yet I don't. I haven't. I haven't settled in. Caught up in work, boy(s) (young and old), and finances, I haven't made this my home and invested in it's style.

But THEN I organized my closet, threw on a couple of fab new accessories and something changed. My dear friend, Rebecca Orlov of Loving.Living.Small. was here for the process... As she surveyed my apartment and all it's white wall glory, she got me thinking about how I could better use my space. Rebecca has come up with a fabulous new series called Design Cycle and right now, I am seriously in a CYCLE. I have great space. Some decent furniture. A huge desire to decorate and LIVE here, but I am on a SERIOUS budget.

Well, Rebecca help me come up with a few simple solutions for the time being that not only maximized my space, but would really make this place feel designed (even without a new pillow from Dwell Studio... currently being shipped... but I digress).

For starters, I switched my son's room completely around. I moved his bed, which is now actually a big boy bed (that story to come) to the other side of the wall (away from the loud neighbors).

I also completely went through his toys which also needed an overhaul. (Really, he's 3.5. Does he need a teether in the same bin as his "shooter gun?!")

I organized his baskets of toys which I moved to another side of the living room and also moved his easel into his "art corner."

The biggest change was moving my dining room table OUT of the actual dining room and in to my living room. (see above) I have a huge window- why not use it?! AND why not turn the dining room into my office AND a little area for Jonah. (I moved his little table and chairs in there too so that he can "do his work" (aka, art, stickers, playdough etc), while I work (yah, good luck).

This is still very much a work in progress but I feel so very excited and hopeful. I haven't felt like this in a long time and it feels great. Stay tuned for more updates, including the new couch that is beyond needed and a few DIY projects that I have planned.

Fun fun fun. Send cash.

Click HERE to see Rebecca's post about this Design Cycle!

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WORD-ONLY WEDNESDAY: EYE TWITCH

For three days straight, my LEFT EYE has been twitching. Though my instinct is to spiral into a state of hypochondria and declare the worst, I know better.... for this twitch, this incessant, annoying, want-to-punch-my-own-eye-out feeling is NOT a first for me. In fact, last year, I'm pretty sure I visited an internist, an ENT, an allergist, and an optometrist (oh, and for shits and giggles I suppose I should mention the neurologist too) to rule out "the worst...."

Well, my friends. Thanks to the intra-web, I don't need to visit these doctors again. Every possible reason for this annoying eye twitch has been listed below..... For twenty cents, I'll let you figure out which (every single) one I have... Wink, wink. (With the right eye of course). ;-)

Why Does My Eye Twitch?

Stress: While we're all under stress at times, our bodies react in different ways. Eye twitching can be one sign of stress, especially when it is related to vision problems such as eye strain(see below). Reducing the cause of the stress can help make the twitching stop.

Tiredness: A lack of sleep, whether because of stress or some other reason, can trigger eyelid spasms. Catching up on your sleep can help.

Eyestrain: Vision-related stress can occur if, for instance, you need glasses or a change of glasses. Your eyes may be working too hard, triggering eyelid twitching. Computer eye strain from computer use is also a very common cause of vision-related stress.

If your eyelid twitching is persistent and very annoying (like the problem experienced by my patient's wife), you should have an eye exam, because you may need vision correction. If you spend a lot of time on the computer, you also should consider talking to your eye doctor about special computer eyeglasses.

Caffeine and alcohol: Many experts believe that too much caffeine and/or alcohol can trigger eye twitches. If your caffeine (coffee, tea, soda pop, etc.) and/or alcohol intake has increased, cutting back is worth a try.

Nutritional imbalances: Some reports indicate a lack of certain nutritional substances, such as magnesium, can trigger eyelid spasms. Although these reports lack scientific evidence, I can't rule this out as a possible cause of eyelid twitching. If you suspect a nutritional deficiency may be affecting you, however, I suggest talking this over with your family doctor for expert advice rather than randomly buying over-the-counter nutritional products.

Dry eyes: More than half the older population experiencesdry eyes, due to aging. Dry eyes also are very common for people who use computers, take certain medications (antihistamines, antidepressants, etc.), wear contact lenses and consume caffeine and/or alcohol. If you are tired and under stress, you also may develop dry eye. It's best to see your eye doctor for a dry eye evaluation, because many treatments are now available.

Allergies: People with eye allergies can have itching, swelling and watery eyes. When eyes are rubbed, this releases histamine into the lid tissues and the tears. This is significant, because some evidence indicates that histamine can cause eyelid twitching.

IT TAKES A VILLAGE

I must confess: Up until last week, though I was fairly interactive and engaged in conversations through social media, I never considered my "followers" my actual friends. Sure, I told them about the silly fart and poop talk my 3 yo spews, but would I tell them about the serious conversation I have with my loved ones? NO. Sure, I uploaded adorable pictures of us having a lovely Mommy & Me baking session, but would I share a picture or video of him tantruming and me losing my mind? NO. Sure, I've declared how hard I worked out, but would I declare how much weight I want to lose? NO. It's private! And for private matters, I have my FRIENDS. My FAMILY. My THERAPIST. My TRIBE.

But then last week, my feelings changed... Glancing through my twitter feed I got immersed in a conversation.... Gripped by a story.... A blogger, Summer Stone had written a suicide note on her blog. Disturbing doesn't even begin to describe how I felt reading it... (Which BTW, just minutes after I read it, it was pulled from her site). Thankfully, Summer's attempt failed. I don't know the details of her attempt and actually don't know much about this mother of 3 or her blog. (To my knowledge, she is in treatment and doing okay). But what I do know is that there was a community that heard her and prayed for her. There were women, perhaps strangers, terrified and touched that reached out to authorities... In a moment of crisis, of seriousness, she did have a community. She was surrounded by a tribe who echoed her heartache and understood just how troubled she was.

Though I am a single mom, I am certainly not alone. I have a support system in every sense of the word. Loving parents, delicious and sweet friends, an incredible therapist, and a nanny that saves my life on a daily basis. I have a village within a ten mile radius. I'm very, very blessed. But now I realize my tribe is even stronger and connected than I had imagined. I discussed the importance of tribe this week with Leslie Gail of newmomfocus.com and Heather Spohr thespohrsaremultiplying.com on Momversation. Who makes up YOUR tribe?