October 27, 2009

IF THAT AIN'T LOVE

Last night I slept on the floor. Yes. The floor. Next to Baby-Ko's crib. In a fetal position. Using his changing pad as pillow, and my robe as a blanket, I managed to squeeze my arm through a slat so that my son, my very (possibly terrible) two year old son, could hold my hand, and eventually (pray god) fall the eff asleep.

Two hours and one majorly numb hip later, I gently removed my hand from his grip, and literally crept out of the room cursing every creak my exhausted knees caused as I crawled down the hallway.

For about a week now, I have broken every rule in THE sleep book. He cries. I pick him up. I put him down. I go in. I go out. I sleep with him. He sleeps with me. He eats. I eat. He drinks. I drink. It's like sleep training all over again only worse: He TALKS. He can reason with me. He can beg. He can plead. And he can even make me laugh in the middle of the night. (Not sure why he said he wanted "Meat-a-balls" in the middle of the night. But he did. And it was funny).

The point is, I'm clueless mommy 101 right now and I've got to get a grip. I've got to get him back to sleep and I've got to be consistent. It's hard to know if his new bad habit (which seems to strike at about 1:45am) is the result of something environmental or something developmental, but holy shit: I'm tired.

As I put Baby-Ko to sleep tonight and promised him that I would be in the other room all night, and that tonight, he would sleep in his room ALONE, surrounded by Eeyore, Tigger, Teddy, Monkey and his favorite three blankets, I prayed that he understood what I was saying. I prayed that he understood that I love him so much and that I would sleep on the floor all night with my hand through a slat if I had to.... but that I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to. That I'm pretty sure that it will only make things harder down the road if I don't nip this in the bud now (again). And that when he's 17, and I'm still checking for monsters under his bed, (and giving him cheerios in a bowl because he simply asks for it at 3am because I'm simply exhausted) his buddies won't think it's very cool...

At least that's what I'm telling myself tonight.... tears and all.

Wish me luck.... And send me your best sleep training advice. Seriously. Just not at 1:45 am. I''ll probably be a little... wrapped up....

9 comments:

Michelle said...

OK, I have a confession to make...I finally broke my 6 year old son of his habit of crawling into my bed in the middle of the night. How did I do it? I shut & locked the door. LOL

J-Ko...I've been in your shoes before. It's never fun. Especially because those manipulative little toddlers know that their mommy's are putty in their hands at 2am. Evil creatures they are! ;-)

Don't give in. Stay firm. And drink lots of coffee and pray that your concealer doesn't fail you. :-)

xoxo

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I'm having a similar problem lately! Cameron, who has been sleeping in his own bed for about three months now (pitiful since he's 21 months old) has recently started getting up and climbing into bed with us ... and I've been letting him. Ugh. I know I need to be all "Supernanny" and be firm and consistent about putting him back in his own bed, but it's soooo hard.

No real helpful advice, but I certainly feel your pain!

Liamama said...

I think we are living parallel lives at the moment. Now my husband spends 30 mins laying down next to her crib holding her hand while she falls asleep. I tried CIO again last week and I broke after 45 mins of her crying, begging, pleading. It is SO HARD now that they talk and can argue with you.

Please help! Let me know what works for you.

Misty said...

Be firm! Stick to your guns and if he needs to cry - let him cry!! In no time he will see that when you put him to bed you mean business and your nights will get a heck of a lot easier! I know its easier said than done but honestly -- he won't remember crying ... he will remember that you are going to continue to give in if you don't stand up to him now! :) Be strong!!!!

Sara A Broers said...

My boys never put me through this. Trust me, they have made up for it in their teen years! I enjoy your blog.

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

I'll be revisiting sleep training in about a month. I hated it the first time, and I am pretty damn sure I will hate it even more this time with my 2nd. But after reading ALL of the baby books (guess I too was looking for the magic answer), I know it has to be done. And it will be done with me clutching my glass of wine tightly!

Love the blog. And seriously, the tag line of "just trying to find the time to shave her legs" could apply to me. If you saw my legs right now, you'd think I was a man. It's on my list....but about #51 on a list of 51 things to do!

Will be back to visit again!

Tamara (aka. The Unexperienced Mom)
www.theunexperiencedmom.com

sara hooper said...

Gosh... I must be tired because this one just brought me to tears. I've been there many a night... breaking rules and YES I promise you he does understand.

NB said...

After 3 years of sleeping 2 hour stretches at a time, my son has finally started to fall asleep on his own and stay asleep all night this summer. To be very honest I read every baby sleep book I could find during the first 3 years . . . did everything the book said and it never worked.

What finally worked was getting him out of his crib and into a "big boy" bed - and I don't mean a toddler bed, a good ol' single sized bed that I could lie down with him and rub his back as he fell asleep - this was step 1 (which lasted for one week - don't deter - don't let him crawl into bed with you and if he comes and visit during the night get him back into his own bed). Step 2 was to then move from sleeping with him to sitting next to him on a chair until he fell asleep - again for one week. Step 3 - sitting at the door for one week while he fell asleep. The final step was sitting in our bedroom and letting him know that I was there if he needed me. I couldn't believe it when one night, I kissed him goodnight and went to our bedroom, fell asleep and woke up at 6am to no noise and ran to his room to check if he was still breathing . . . unbelievable!!!

I feel liberated now - if only my own internal clock would go back to normal now (also baby #2 is coming March so I expect to go through this again!). Tell me I'm not crazy!

NB said...

After 3 years of sleeping 2 hour stretches at a time, my son has finally started to fall asleep on his own and stay asleep all night this summer. To be very honest I read every baby sleep book I could find during the first 3 years . . . did everything the book said and it never worked.

What finally worked was getting him out of his crib and into a "big boy" bed - and I don't mean a toddler bed, a good ol' single sized bed that I could lie down with him and rub his back as he fell asleep - this was step 1 (which lasted for one week - don't deter - don't let him crawl into bed with you and if he comes and visit during the night get him back into his own bed). Step 2 was to then move from sleeping with him to sitting next to him on a chair until he fell asleep - again for one week. Step 3 - sitting at the door for one week while he fell asleep. The final step was sitting in our bedroom and letting him know that I was there if he needed me. I couldn't believe it when one night, I kissed him goodnight and went to our bedroom, fell asleep and woke up at 6am to no noise and ran to his room to check if he was still breathing . . . unbelievable!!!

I feel liberated now - if only my own internal clock would go back to normal now (also baby #2 is coming March so I expect to go through this again!). Tell me I'm not crazy!