May 21, 2012


In high school, I was the "drama girl..."  Well, a drama nerd, really. With New York University as the institution where I'd end up studying thee-ater (and buying drugs from R.A.'s), the idea of participating in team sports really wasn't  high on my list of priorities. As a child, I wasn't necessarily nonathletic, I was just waaaaay better at drawing, and dress up, and doing impressions. AYSO soccer had no room for a budding young star with a chubby face and chicken legs like me. So, I spent weekends taking art and acting classes, tap and ballet...

But somehow, I got sucked in. For whatever reason, somehow, someway, I DID end up on Track and Cross Country my freshman and sophomore years. I was DEFINITELY not fast, and I was definitely never on varsity. In fact, my biggest claim to running fame was being crowned the Junior Varsity All Champ winner... In....the... 2 Mile. Yes, I ran the 2 mile on track. Know how many people I had to compete against in the all-champ race??? THREE.

Hey, 1 out of 3 ain't bad.

The point is, for a mildly nonathletic (Jewish drama queen from Beverly Hills) with substantial cardiac/strength ability, I do a'ight when I participate in activities that require some sort of physical endurance or coordination. 

I mean SERIOUSLY, if rollerblading was an Olympic sport, I might have had a chance at winning a gold. In 1995. In Central Park. I was good. And, I mean. GOOD. Three words: Lace. Up. Blades.... What's up.

But I digress....

SO, while on our recent vacation in Hawaii, P and I decided to take surfing lessons. 

Imagine Rob Schneider tanned (and toned), with dirty, bleached hair, zinc oxide covering his face, and huge monkey like feet: That was Mike, our surfing instructor. 

For the first 20 minutes of the lesson, he tried to get our names right. 

There were four of us. 

The plan was that we'd each "catch a wave," one at a time. Mike the monkey would find us "a rad one," give us a little push, scream "paddle!" then scream out the steps to standing up on the board. (Yeah... after "here comes a good one" and "paddle," I pretty much couldn't hear anything. The Pacific Ocean is preeeeeetty, pretty loud.) 

I went first... 

... and by "went first," I mean, fell first.

Eventually, however, I caught a wave....

But mostly, I did this: 

And it was worth every bit of the $75 dollars we spent... to give our friends something to laugh about. 

I'm not going to go so far to say that this might be my newest hobby or one that would garner accolades such as the ones I surely could have gotten during my rollerblading through Manhattan hay day.... But I will say I'm GLAD I tried it and would absolutely do it again...  I held in and held on. At 14, I could handle a challenge and at 35 I can handle it too...  Might choose a better bottom for bikini next time... one that doesn't scream "hey, my striped, falling ass, is HERE," but that's a completely different story and post altogether. Whatevs. Mahalo.

May 4, 2012


It's nearly midnight and I have about a dozen things left to do.... Tomorrow I leave for an 8 day trip to Hawaii with my boyfriend and another couple. Eight Days. Without my son. 8. The longest I've ever been away from him, and (not withstanding my backpacking/smoking tour through Europe post-college), one of the longest trips I've ever been on in general. Oh wait, I forgot about the cruise to Europe with my family, and the cruise through the Panama Canal too... and the trip to Hungary... Never Mind. I've traveled a lot and for long periods. The point is, never this long away from Jonah.

I'm not going to lie and tell you how tragic and how guilty I feel. I don't feel guilty (which at some point will cause me to feel guilty about not feeling guilty). I feel okay with it. I feel like he's at an age that it's okay, acceptable, appropriate... I feel like not only does he have a dad that loves him and his more than capable of taking care of him, but he has a chance to spend a long period with a dad that loves him and is more than capable of taking care of him: He is lucky. And he's beyond excited for this "extended stay." Plus, we've been talking about this and working up to it for quite some time. What, you don't think I would just spring something on him do you? Please. I am a good mom..... I have and will go to great lengths to stay connected...

See exhibit A. (Well, I'll just tell you about it... because the file is too big and I'm tired). 

Using logos and images of like a palm tree symbolizing me in Hawaii, or a picture of his dad, or a picture of a soccer ball, I made a calendar for him which details every aspect of his day.... Who's picking him up, where he's going, what he's doing and where I am through it all. Not bad, right?

See exhibit B. (Again, you'll need to just trust that I'm doing this).... 
We will likely Skype or Facetime at some point too... 
I mean, not much more I can say about that.

The point is, I'm leaving my son and confident that I've done everything I can to prepare both he and I for this trip. 

So with that, allow me to take this moment to say: I'll post something again the week of the 14th. By then the sound of crashing waves and pina colada refill cravings will have subsided.... along with some of the guilt I'm sure that'll creep up the minute I land... It always does.... It always does....

Have a good week!