March 3, 2011

SINGLE MOMS: HOW TO MINIMIZE THE "WOE IS ME"

I recently started blogging for a fantastic website called GalTime. Thought I'd share with you a post I wrote about being a single mom and how it's all too easy to live in "woe is me" land. While I certainly wouldn't consider myself the poster child for single mothers everywhere (as all of our journeys are so very different), I will say that I think my advice, though simple and very literal, could help ease some of the anxieties that all moms face- single, separated, divorced, dating or happily hitched. Looking forward to your thoughts....

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Single Moms: How to Minimize the "Woe is Me"

While the Stay at Home vs. Working Mom debate rages on, I find myself fighting (internally) for a different group of moms who’ll never have to duke it out for the “Who Has it Harder” title.

Hands down, bottom line, no ifs, ands or buts: Being a single mom is harder than any Target running or career juggling mom’s life. Why? Because we have to do both of those. Simultaneously. And maybe (never) wash our hair.

I have a hard time, however, when our “plight” gets little sympathy. When people insinuate that single motherhood is a choice—that even if a woman chose to leave a marriage or (gasp) chose to have children without a partner, that the burdens and challenges she might face are her fault. Like, You made your bed, now lie in it.

As a single mom, this has probably been one of my biggest hurdles: How to allow myself to feel the stress, pressure, and “holy sh*tness” of being a single parent, without feeling guilty about how or why I got here. This is not easy…. especially when the second biggest emotional hurdle is pity. Oh, I do love a good pity party every now and again, especially on the days that absolutely nothing is going right. Flat tire? I’m alone. Big bill come in? I’m alone. Spill my Starbucks on my favorite dress? Son of a b*tch, and oh, yep. Still alone!

However, I’ve found that there are a few things that I can do to minimize the 'woe is me' sessions. Things that I can do to feel great about where I am in life, challenges and all.

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3 comments:

My Bottle's Up! said...

dude, we have talked about this on the phone and i've seriously been like "WOMEN THIS IS THE SHIT THAT NEEDS TO BE SHARED BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING!!!"

so yeah, that.

Vanessa said...

I have to say without a shadow of a doubt that single moms do have it harder than just working moms and stay at home moms. And they are most undervalued. It doesn't matter what the circumstance of how or why they are single moms you ladies are inspirational in my book and I'd take advice from a single parent before anyone else hands down!

Jennifer Brandt said...

Aw. Thanks Vanessa and Nic. Your love and support always means so much xo