From the back seat....
J: Mommy, how much do you love me?
Me: Soooooooo, much.
J: How much? (Opening his hands). This much?
Me: Oh, way more.
J: How much more?
Me: To the moon and back, around the world 98 million times, to the bottom of the ocean floor and up, then around the world again. That much.
J: I love you that much too.
Me: I'm so glad.
J: NO. Mommy. NO. I love you... (Opening his arms). To the roof, to the neighbors, to Disneyland, all the way to the beach, and down Coldwater Canyon, and around the world 47 hundred 3, 5, zero, times. I love you that much.
Me: Wow, that's a lot.
J: Yeah. It's a lot... And do you know what else?
Me: What's that?
J: It's really far to the moon.
Me: I know.
J: What's a moon rock?
Me: That's a good question.
J: Do you know. What. I. Want. To. Be. Um, mommy, mommy, mommy. Do. You. Know. What. I. Want. To. Be-
J: Do. You. Know. What?!
Me: What darling?
J: I want to be an ASTRONAUT on Halloween.
Me: An astronaut. Okay! Very cool.
J: Can you get that for me, Mommy?
Me: I'll see what I can do.
J: Mommy, what will you be?
Me: A pretty mommy.
J: No, mommy. Something else. How about a princess?
Me: I like princesses--
J: A princess with a tutu. And a wand.
Me: That would be fun.
J: Yeah. And you can come trick o treating with me. Okay?
Me: Thanks baby. I'd love that.
The car ahead of me sits at a light.
Me: (Under my breath) Come on, dude.
J: Mommy! No! That's a not nice word.
Me: What did I say?
J:. You. Cannot. Say. Dude.
Me: You're right. It doesn't sound very nice. I was frustrated.
J: But Mommy. I'm very disappointed.
Me: You're... You're disappointed?
J: Yes. When we get to Daddy's, you are going to have a time out.
Me: (Holding in my laughter) Oh, my goodness.
J: No IFTS, ands, or butts, mommy. That's the rule.
Me: Oh... You are in charge?
J: Yes, I am in charge. I am the boss. You cannot say not nice words.
Me: You're right, Jonah. I need to think about my language.
J: Never, never, again, Mommy.
Me: Never.... You're pretty angry at me. Huh?
J: I will still love you though.
Me: How much?
J: That much. (Uses his fingers).
Me: That's a lot less than before.
J: I'm still very disappointed.