MANNERS MONDAY: RSVP ETIQUETTE!

When it comes to invitations of any kind, I do try to take some consideration when it comes to RSVPing. Ironically, I pulled a big RSVP "no no" just yesterday. Weeks ago, I had responded "Yes" to a 1st birthday party. Apparently, I had also responded "Yes" to plans to go to the Zoo with the entire family. DUH. Today, Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners and I discuss RSVP etiquette... clearly, I need to heed my own advice!

Manners Monday: RSVP! from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's RSVP Tips!

Ø Keep Track of Your Invites. Once you receive an invitation, you should RSVP within 24-48 hours of its receipt. This system helps to diminish any problems that may arise if another invitation for the same date and time arrives in the mail days later.

Ø Split Your Time Sensibly. Although technically you are only obligated to attend the first invitation you receive, you may feel inclined (or obliged) to RSVP to more than one engagement at a given time. If that is the case, the trick is to be respectful and split your time sensibly to ensure you are not offending the invitees who probably wish they had you committed for the "whole enchilada".

Ø Pay Extra Careful Attention to Electronic Invites. This becomes an especially delicate matter on sites such as Evite because you are able to see who opened your invitation, but did not respond. Think twice before publishing your invite list for all to see if you are concerned that some may base their decision on who else is coming.

Ø Make Sure You Have a Good Excuse! If you are unable to RSVP positively to an event, that is perfectly fine, as long as you have a decent and thoughtful excuse. How you deliver your excuse and the words you choose to express yourself can make all the difference.

MANNERS MONDAY: CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE

I would say my right hand has tingled, gone numb, and/or ached off and on for the last two years or so. Though I am plagued by hypochondria, this is one ailment I'm certain isn't fatal... Unless of course you start thinking about the radiation that could be permeating into my brain or ears or hand... But I digress...

No. My finger/hand/arm issue/disease is entirely impart to an electronic device/appendage that takes pictures (HD ones, at that), video chats, houses thousands of songs and useless games, and tells me where in Africa I can find a Starbucks.

I live for my iPhone. And my fingers pay for it. As do my friends and family.

It's obnoxious, I realize. I'm on my phone A LOT. But thanks to my dear friend and writing partner Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners, I'm learning how and when to politely use my phone while in public.

Manners Monday Cell Phone Etiquette from lisagache on Vimeo.

Lisa's Cell Phone Etiquette Tips:

Ø Turn your cell phone off. At the very least, place your phone on vibration mode before meeting others so that you may be fully present to your situation.

Ø Communication is key. Communicate in advance if you know you will be receiving an important call. This will put others at ease rather than aggravate them.

Ø Never place your cell phone on the table in plain sight. Simply place your phone in your lap so that you may glance down to view the caller if need be.

Ø If you receive your important call, politely excuse yourself and conduct your conversation in private.

Ø Speak softly so that you do not disturb those around you.

MANNERS MONDAY: ROAD RAGE!

Manners Monday: Road Rage! from lisagache on Vimeo.

Many months ago, I was driving with Jonah and running late (as usual). We pulled up at a stop light and though the light was green, the car in front of me decided to slow down and virtually stop. I laid on my horn and without thinking said, "GO! DOUCHE!" Sure enough, not two seconds later, a little gold fished crusted mouth, as if he were driving himself, blurted "Gooooo. Douuuuuuuuuuuuuuche!"

Oops.

There's no doubt about it. When it comes to setting a good example of manners for Jonah, I have two unfortunate things working for me: I swear like a truck driver, and I drive like a truck driver. The combination of the two makes for some gnarly road rage.

Though I'd like to blame Los Angeles drivers for their poor driving skills and bad manners (um, I'm signaling! Let me IN!), I realize that I need to take it down a notch, especially when little J is in the car with me. Well today Lisa Gache and I decided to talk about how easy it is to let your manners get run over by road rage... especially during carpool drop-off... (Oh, yeah. You know the rude moms I'm talking about. Are you one???)

Want to tame your road rage, Lisa suggests:

Ø Give yourself plenty of time to arrive at your destination

Ø Refrain from cell phone conversations when entering the parking lot so that you can be present to the situation at hand

Ø Don’t sweat the small stuff, if someone’s driving is bothering you, take a breath and count to ten

Ø Lay off the horn and the profanity, especially if children are in the car, you don’t want to set a bad example

Ø Never give someone the “finger.” It is just plain rude!

MANNERS MONDAY: IT'S MORE THAN PLEASE & THANK YOU!

Manners were a big part of my childhood. From no elbows on the table to thank you notes, my mom was a big, big stickler for manners. "Thank you for the birthday gift..." "Thank you for inviting me to your miniature golf party..." "Thank you for coming to my Bat Mitzvah..." You get the gist.

Me & My Grandfather Ralph ("Papa") circa 1987 en route to a Cotillion dance

I believe that now, my behavior, thanks to a 3 1/2 year old sponge with an already saucy vernacular, is crucial. And though I am certainly not the poster child for all things manners and etiquette, my lovely book writing partner Lisa Gache of Beverly Hills Manners is. Lisa and I have teamed up to create a weekly video series discussing all things manners. From cell phone etiquette to road rage to how to tell your friend they have spinach in their teeth, we're going to dish about it all.

We want to:

· Raise the awareness level on manners

· Obliterate the stodgy reputation that manners are only for the wealthy and elite

· Provide endless examples of how manners are an integral part of our daily lives

· Make learning manners accessible, entertaining and fun

Enjoy and look forward to your thoughts!

**Manners Monday: It's More Than Please & Thank You! ** from lisagache on Vimeo.

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When it comes to manners, what matters to you the most? What irks you the most?

PRETTY PLEASE

For several months, Baby-Ko's language has really started to bloom. He's definitely mastered Mommy, Daddy, Up, Down, Baba (bottle), Bye-Bye and a slew of other "common" (no shit) words that a 17 month old might say. But what I find to be so funny about hearing this little person speak is some of the other words that he's decided to include in his repertoire. Moon, "Okee-Dokee," Deer (one of our neighbors has a fake deer on their lawn. Don't ask) and other little shticks we have like .... "Baby-Ko, who's your favorite Laker?" and he says, "Koobee." Brilliant. Or my husband's favorite show off phrase, "Baby-Ko, who's your favorite Dodger," and he says, "Manny."

Yet, no matter what I do, I can't get him to say the word "PLEASE." I'm no Emily Post, but I've heard that it's important to start to teach manners early on. I've been trying really hard to get him to say it when he wants something. Like every other word that I try to teach him, I repeat it, "Say, 'More, pleeaaase, mommy. Pleeease." Nothing. Just a "moooooooooore!" and a temper tantrum and me giving him whatever it is that he wants. He just will not say it. But, if I drop something on the floor and mutter "Crap," for the rest of the day you might hear my litttle one shouting "Cap. Cap!" Or today, I was on the phone and said something about (me) being "dumb." For the next 5 minutes, I heard, "Dup. Dup!" (I can only assume he agreed that I was in fact "Dup.") Yesterday, my mom's friend looked at him and said, "Boy are you 'Adorable!'" He smiled (as if to say thank you) and then said, "Aduuwabel." I mean.... Really? Adorable? A four syllable word but  you can't say, "Please?" The easiest word other than "No" and you can't say it? Seriously?!

No matter how hard I try on this one, I've got to say, I think my kid isn't going to budge on this one. I think he knows what I want and this is his first instance of independence and defiance. I think he's gonna say Please and Thank you when he's ready to say it. In the meantime, with the amount of repeating he's doing, I definitely need to stop talking like a truck driver as much as I do. Because hearing him say "Pass the fucking baba, PLEAASE" isn't exactly what Emily Post is going for...