May 24, 2008

MOMNESIA'S A BITCH

I wish I had something wildly entertaining to write about but unfortunately nothing has happened in the past few days that I feel warrant a post.... Plus I think I have a terrible case of "Momnesia." Seriously. Ever since I saw the report that women become forgetful after having a baby on the Today Show, my Momnesia has been in full affect. (Come to think of it though, I do remember their set that day and loving the Jonathan Adler vase behind the couch....)

ANYWAY, at my last Mommy & Me class, the lecture was about introducing table foods to the babies. WACKY made us stand in a circle and repeat this how-to-save-your-baby-from-choking mantra like 16 times. We repeated it after her like school children and then she said "say it again... again, AGAIN...!!!" Being the wise ass that I am, I cracked a smile and I don't think Wacky appreciated it. She had us pretend what to do in case they were choking. She told us she'd come around the circle to each of us to see if we were doing it properly. Maybe she was secretly punishing me for not taking the mantra seriously because when it was time for me to demonstrate with Baby-Ko, she had her assistant check my "Choke hold." With all due respect, I think I'd prefer to get my life saving skills checked off by Wacky herself. Isn't that what I pay top dollar for??? BUT the JOKE is, I CAN'T even remember the fucking mantra for the life of me!!! Seriously, I got in the car after class and racked my brain trying to remember it.

Turn the baby over and hit them.... NO.
Upside down and on the back... NO.
Upside down, boy you turn me... NO.
911... NO.
Call Wacky???... Hmmm. Probably not.

Well, I guess I'll just have to watch Baby-Ko like a hawk when I give him "Yam/ Cheerio Pillows." (Yes, that's my newest creation. He refuses to eat ANYTHING EXCEPT cheerios. So I have to cram pieces of cheese, fruit, yams, etc, on to the cheerio to trick him). Who knows, maybe they'll do another report on the Today Show on how to get your babies to eat AND safe their lives in the process. I just hope I remember what they say instead of the remembering that I've seen Meredith Vieira in that Tory Burch dress before. Apparently Momnesia is selective....

2 comments:

Can't Remember Shit said...

...Just wait until you hit 50+!
xxx,
"CRS"

creative-type dad said...

I took Infant CPR and First Aid for 3 days. By the end of the week, I couldn't even remember where I parked my car.